[5.21]Roz And The Schnoz

Roz And The Schnoz                         Written by Jeffrey Richman
                                           Directed by Ken Levine
Production Code: 5.21
Original Airdate on NBC: 5th May 1998
Transcript written on 11th September 1999
Transcript revised on 5th June 2001



·  Outstanding Multi-Camera Picture Editing for a Series: Janet Ashikaga

Peri Gilpin Introduces... {nick hartley}

On Paramount Comedy Channel's "Frasier Weekend" Peri Gilpin (who 
plays Roz Doyle) introduced this episode of Frasier. She was sat on 
the set of "Café Nervosa" as she said the following:

   Peri: Roz and Schnoz is one of my favorites because I'm about nine 
         months pregnant, I'm just about to have this baby, I find out 
         that I'm going to meet the parents of the father of my child. 
         I'm nervous, I don't want to meet them, I realize I have to 
         and they show up and they've both got these GIANT noses. 

A clip of Roz and Schnoz is shown. Paula and Steve are in Frasier's 
apartment talking to Frasier:

  Steve: We hope this isn't too awkward for her.  She sounded a 
         little anxious on the phone.
  Paula: Then again, who could blame her?  She doesn't know what 
         kind of people we are.  A situation like this is enough to make
         anyone a little nervous.
Frasier: Well, actually you know, Roz really isn't the nervous type.

Roz then opens the powder room door and nearly falls over when she 
sees the two large noses. The clip then finishes as Peri resumes.

   Peri: The couple that plays the couple are a couple in real life. 
         And they played it so beautifully and so well that we could 
         not get through a take. The audience was laughing, we were 
         laughing, in fact you can see in the episode that people are 
         just laughing in the background.

Another clip of the episode now has Niles, Daphne, Frasier, Roz and 
the Garretts in Frasier's apartment. Niles and Daphne are trying to 
control their laughter without success.

Frasier: Roz, why don't you show the Garretts the view?
  Paula: Oh yes that would be nice, I could use a breath of fresh air. 

Niles and Daphne break apart laughing. Peri resumes as the clip ends.

   Peri: We couldn't get a straight take, it's wonderful that way.

End Of Introduction (Time: 1:00)

Other "Frasier Week" Episodes (shown Oct. 5-9, 1998)
John Mahoney:      [1.21] Travels With Martin
David Hyde Pierce: [1.21] Author, Author
Jane Leeves:       [2.17] Daphne's Room (a.k.a. A Room With a View) 
Kelsey Grammer:    [4.08] Our Father Whose Art Ain't Heaven
Peri Gilpin:       [5.21] Roz and the Schnoz

Transcript {nick hartley}

Act One.

Scene One - Café Nervosa.
It's the afternoon when Niles is sipping his coffee reading the 
newspaper.  Frasier enters and takes the seat next to him.

Frasier: Hello, Niles.
  Niles: Oh, Frasier, listen to this: [reads from paper] "Michael 
         Hawkins of Allentown, Pennsylvania, has agreed to donate 
         his right lung to his younger brother Clovis.  Says Hawkins, 
         I got two lungs, but I only got one brother.'"  Isn't that 
Frasier: It certainly is.
  Niles: The love one brother feels for the other.
Frasier: [not surprised] Hmm, what do you want?
  Niles: I need you to come to a dog show with me. 
Frasier: I would rather give you a lung! [to passing waitress] 
         Latte, please.
  Niles: Frasier, I beg you.  It's at the Seattle Kennel Club tomorrow 
         night and I can't go alone, Maris will be there.
Frasier: And in what class will Maris be showing? 
  Niles: She'll be showing no class! [they laugh] As she has ever since 
         she hooked up with that reptile, Dr. Schenkman.  This will be 
         my first time seeing them since we filed for divorce.
Frasier: You know, here's an idea, Niles: Don't go!
  Niles: I've never missed the kennel club show. If I don't go 
         this year, people will think I've let Maris and Schenkman 
         intimidate me!  I want to prove that I'm strong and 
         independent, and I can't do that alone.
Frasier: Well, all right Niles, if it's moral support you need, I'll go 
         with you.
  Niles: I'll pick you up around eight. 
Frasier: All right.
  Niles: [looks at watch] And, I have a patient. [packs things up] 
         Thank you, thank you, I knew I could count on you for this, 
         Frasier.  It's nice to know that some things never change.

Roz enters the cafe in a harried state, carrying two suitcases.

    Roz: Do you guys know where I can get a cheap hotel room in a 
  Niles: Case in point! Goodbye, Roz.

Niles gets up and leaves as Roz takes his seat.

 Frasier: Roz, why do you need a hotel room?
     Roz: I was supposed to move into my new place today, but they're 
          still painting it.  I can't be around those fumes, and 
          they've already rented my old apartment. [to waitress who 
          is bringing Frasier's coffee] Grandé decaf Latte, please.
          [to Frasier] I am literally on the streets.
 Frasier: You just ordered a four-dollar cup of coffee.  "On the 
          street" may be a tad dramatic.
     Roz: Well, I've got to start calling around, see if I can find 
 Frasier: You know Roz, if you're stuck, my dad's going to San 
          Francisco for the weekend.  You can always stay with me.
     Roz: Wow!  That would sure make things easier. [quick] Okay.
 Frasier: [surprised] Well then, that's settled.  That's that, then.
     Roz: [realizes] Oh, you were just being polite, you didn't really 
          mean for me to take you up on it.
 Frasier: [covering] No, no, no, no.  I wouldn't have suggested it if 
          it wasn't something I wanted to do.  You should know that.
     Roz: All right.
Waitress: [brings coffee and bill] Here you go.  There's your check. 
     Roz: I'll get that.
 Frasier: No, no, no, let me get that.
     Roz: Okay. [hands it to him] 
 Frasier: Well then, lucky me - I'm getting everything I want today.


Scene Two - Frasier's Apartment.
Frasier enters his apartment to find a rather worked-up Martin. 
Throughout this all of Martin's lines sound as if he is stressed.

 Martin: Well it's about time!
Frasier: Calm down, dad.
 Martin: I was starting to get worried.
Frasier: We've got plenty of time.
 Martin: My plane leaves at five  clock.
Frasier: I just stopped off for your blood pressure medicine.
 Martin: I don't need it!
Frasier: [stressed too] Well, pack it anyway!

Martin calms down and takes the bag that Frasier has brought in. 
He takes something out and it's a jewellery ring case. 

 Martin: What's this? [opens it] Earrings?
Frasier: Oh, just a little something I picked up for Daphne at the 
         drug store.  She ran some errands for me last week.
 Martin: Nice.  What are they, sapphires?
Frasier: [sarcastic] Yes dad, I always buy precious stones at the 
         same counter I pick up corn pads and Wart Be-Gone! 
 Daphne: [enters from her room] Shouldn't you two be going?
Frasier: Oh, actually Daphne, we're just on our way but first there's 
         a little something I wanted to give you - just a little token 
         of my appreciation.
 Daphne: [excited, takes box] Oh, Dr. Crane, you remembered!
Frasier: Well, of... course I did.

Frasier looks at Martin, who shrugs to show he doesn't have a clue.

 Daphne: Can you believe it was five years ago today that I came to 
         work here?  I just knew you wouldn't let an important occasion 
         like this go by unnoticed, but I wasn't expecting a gift.
Frasier: Well, it's a small gift, a tiny gift...
 Daphne: [opens the box and is shocked] Oh my God, sapphires!
Frasier: [worried] Well, actually Daphne...
 Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane, these must have cost a fortune!
Frasier: Well, I-
 Daphne: [blabbering] You know my friend Molly got a diamond bracelet 
         from her boss but she worked for him for ten years and she was 
         sleeping with him!  And now I've got sapphires!  And I didn't 
         even have to sleep with you!  Although now that I've got the 
         sapphires - Oh God, what am I saying?  I'm giddy!  Is it rude 
         if I go and try these on?  I don't care!  I have to see what 
         these look like!  I've never had real jewelry, before, never!  
         I'm speechless! 

She runs to her room, leaving Frasier shell-shocked.

Frasier: Dear God, she believes they're genuine sapphires.
 Martin: [sarcastic] Gee, ya think?
Frasier: I'm going to have to tell her the truth.
 Martin: Why?  Didn't you see how happy she was, just let her enjoy 
Frasier: I can't let her think I gave her something I didn't.  Honesty 
         between friends is far more precious than any gem.  I'm sure 
         Daphne feels exactly the same way.

Daphne, however, enters, still on a high, now wearing them.

 Daphne: I feel like a princess!  I'm never going to take them off!  
         Oh thank you, [hugs him] thank you, thank you. [laughs]
Frasier: Daphne, you know, I'm glad you like them...
 Daphne: And you even remembered that sapphires are my birthstone. 
         Is there no end to your thoughtfulness?
Frasier: Somebody has to keep track of these things. 
 Martin: [stressed again] You know, I really should be getting to 
         the airport!
Frasier: All right dad, I'll get my keys!
 Daphne: No, no, absolutely not, I'll drive Mr. Crane.  From now on 
         you're not lifting a finger around here. [to Martin] You
         ring for the elevator, I'll just grab my coat.
 Martin: All right, but don't dawdle.  My flight's at five, they told 
         me to get there an hour early.

Martin gets his luggage and moves over to the corridor outside 
Frasier's apartment.  He is waiting for the elevator when Frasier 
comes out to see him off.

Frasier: Did you remember to pack your medicine?
 Martin: [stressed] Yes, but I told you, I don't need it!

The elevator arrives and Roz gets out of it.

    Roz: Hey, guys.
 Martin: Hey, Roz. [notices bags] Frasier, help her with that. [he 
    Roz: Thanks, and thanks for letting me use your room.
 Martin: No problem.
    Roz: So, you're off to San Francisco.
 Martin: Yeah, yeah.  Duke and I took our shore leave there in '52. 
         We're going back to retrace out steps.
    Roz: That sounds like fun.
 Martin: Yeah, yeah.  We had a great time that weekend.  Back then 
         there was no place like Frisco for a single guy cruising 
         the streets looking for a good time.

Frasier and Roz trade a look.

Frasier: [with a different meaning] You know dad, I think you'll 
         find that Frisco hasn't changed all that much.
 Martin: Well, I hope not! [laughs and enters elevator]
    Roz: Bye.
 Martin: Bye.

Daphne enters the corridor from the apartment.  As she talks to Roz 
she tilts her head and extravagantly brushes her hair back from one 
ear, making the earrings obvious, or rather making her look mad.

 Daphne: Hey, Roz.  Just off to the airport, back in a bit, see you 

Daphne enters the elevator as Roz enters the apartment. Frasier puts 
her bags down as she closes the door.

Frasier: Come on in, Roz.  
    Roz: Thanks.
Frasier: Actually, you're here a little earlier than I expected.
    Roz: Yeah, I had to get out of the apartment sooner than I thought.  
         I left you a message.
Frasier: Oh, frankly I didn't check my machine all day today.
    Roz: Listen Frasier, thank you so much for this.  I won't be an 
         imposition, I promise.  You won't even know I'm here.

Frasier switches on his machine to listen to the messages.

Machine: You have 13 messages. [Frasier looks at Roz]
    Roz: I had my calls forwarded, I hope you don't mind.
  Marco: [v.o] Roz, it's Marco.  I'm coming to town this weekend.  
         Are you busy Saturday night, late?  Call me.
    Roz: Obviously, Marco and I haven't talked for a long time.
Frasier: Something tells me you never talked for a long time.
  Paula: [v.o] Roz, this is Paula Garrett, Rick's mom. [Roz looks up, 
         alarmed] We just found out about the baby and well, we think 
         it's important that we meet you.  Uh, we're leaving to see 
         Rick in Paris the day after tomorrow, so anytime before that 
         will be fine.  I'm running out now, maybe I'll try you later. 
    Roz: Oh my god!
Frasier: Now Roz, just calm down.
    Roz: What do they want?
Frasier: Maybe they just want to meet you.  They are the grandparents 
         of your child. 
    Roz: Look, I worked all this out with Rick!  He's twenty years old, 
         he's still in college and it's best for everyone if I raise 
         this baby by myself.
Frasier: I know that, but...
    Roz: Now I'm supposed to put up with in-laws and I don't even have 
         a husband?!  That's like posing nude for your art teacher and 
         still flunking the course. [Frasier is shocked] Shut up! 
         I needed the credits!
Frasier: Roz, listen, all they want is a short meeting.
    Roz: Yeah, well, that's what they say now.  What if they want 
         another one after that?  What if they won't leave me alone, 
         what if - what if they don't think I'm a fit mother?
Frasier: What if they turn out to be nice supportive people that 
         you're glad to have in your life?
    Roz: I just don't want to do this, Frasier!  It's not comfortable.
Frasier: Oh Roz... You know what, I could go with you, if you like?  
         Oh, better yet, we can have them here tomorrow night.  Niles 
         and I have a dog show around eight o'clock.  They can come 
         before that. 
    Roz: I don't know.

The phone sounds.

Frasier: I'll bet that's Mrs. Garrett.
    Roz: I'm not here.
Frasier: [into phone] Hello.  Yes, she is.  Yes, she did get your 
         message. [Roz signals to him to change] No, no, I'm afraid 
         she won't be able to meet you.  Yes I understand that you're 
         upset.  I'm terribly sorry, goodbye. [hangs up phone]
    Roz: Thank you, Frasier.  Thank you.
Frasier: That was Marco, now we're calling Mrs. Garrett.

He picks the phone up and starts dialing.


Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment. Roz: All right, give it to me straight. How do I look? Roz enters wearing attire that looks like it's flashed from the 19th Century — a long black dress with a white collar and cuffs, and a conservative string of pearls. Of course, her pregnant bump makes it all a little more weird. Frasier: Like Pollyanna grew up and got herself into a little trouble. Roz: Oh, why am I doing this? How did I let you talk me into this? Frasier: I will mean a lot to them. Besides, it's a chance to learn about your baby's lineage. A lot of things are inherited, you know. Like intelligence, artistic ability... The doorbell sounds. Roz: Oh God, it's them. I've got to check my makeup. Frasier: Roz, there's no need to panic. You know, this should be fun! It's like a little preview of who your child might be. Roz enters the powder room as Frasier answers the door to Mr. & Mrs. Garrett. Steve greets Frasier whilst his wife has her back turned talking to a neighbor. Steve is a tall, handsome man in his late 30's, with an enormous, bulbous nose. Steve: Hi there, Steve Garrett. Frasier, taken aback, shakes his hand mechanically. Steve: My wife's just... uh, honey? Paula: Well, it was nice seeing you too! Paula turns round; she also has an enormous nose. Paula: Oh, what a coincidence, your neighbor goes to my hair salon. Hi, I'm Paula. [shaking hands] Frasier: [recovering] Frasier Crane. Won't you please come in? [they do] Roz'll be out in a second. She just went to powder her... self. Steve: We hope this isn't too awkward for her. She sounded a little anxious on the phone. Paula: Then again, who could blame her? She doesn't know what kind of people we are. A situation like this is enough to make anyone a little nervous. Frasier: Well, actually you know, Roz really isn't the nervous type. Roz then opens the powder room door, smiling - and nearly falls over when she sees the two large noses. Frasier: Roz, this is Steve and Paula Garrett. Roz: [astounded] Hi. Steve: Hi... oh, that's alright Roz, we don't blame you for being shocked. Paula: I mean, we're used to it. You should see the looks we get. Steve: You were a little taken aback yourself, weren't you, Dr. Crane? Frasier: Oh-ho-ho, certainly not! Paula: Oh, come on, it's alright! Everyone comments on it. Frasier: Well, I must admit when I opened the door I... Paula: [finishes] ...couldn't believe we were old enough to have a twenty year-old son. Frasier: [lying] Exactly! You know, you both look so young. Don't they, Roz? Steve and Paula turn to Roz, putting her on the spot. Roz: [still astounded] Yes... young. Very, very, young. Paula: Oh Roz, I can see you're feeling a little uncomfortable, so let's just say, right up front, that we have no intention of intruding on your life. Steve: Rick told us what a wonderful person you are. We just wanted to meet you and offer any help or support that you think is appropriate. Frasier gives Roz a "what did I tell you?" smile. Roz unbends. Roz: [happier and settling down] Thanks. That's very nice. Daphne then enters from the kitchen with a tray of food. Paula and Steve have their backs turned to her. Daphne: I thought your guests might be a little peckish. Frasier: Oh, Daphne Moon, Steve and Paula Garrett. Daphne: Hello, I... They turn to her and she is astounded. Daphne: I... Frasier: I know! It's amazing, isn't it? They are actually the parents of a twenty year-old. Daphne: [glad for the excuse] Amazing. Steve and Paula go to look at the food as the doorbell sounds. Frasier: Oh, excuse me. [opens door to Niles] Oh, Niles. You're an hour early. Niles: I'm sorry - hey, Roz. [to Frasier] Yeah, I thought you might like to grab a bite to eat before the dog show. [notices them] Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you had... They turn around. Niles: Had... Frasier: Company, yes! Steve, Paula Garrett, this is my brother, Niles Crane. The Garretts are the grandparents-to-be of Roz's baby. Niles: Oh! Well, nice to meet you. [to Daphne] Hey, Daphne. Paula: Did I hear you mention you're going to a dog show? Niles: Yes, the Seattle Kennel Club is having its annual event tonight. Paula: You know, Steve and I went to that a few years ago. We just love dogs! We have two giant Schnauzers. Niles quivers in place, fighting hysterics. Daphne presses her fingers over her mouth. Niles sits on the couch with a goofy smile. Roz looks rather nervous and Frasier looks angry. Steve: My goodness, Paula look at the view! Frasier: Roz, why don't you show the Garretts the view? Paula: Oh yes, that would be nice. I could use a breath of fresh air! Roz takes the couple out on the balcony and Daphne and Niles release their giggles. Frasier: [snaps] Just stop it, the two of you! My God, you're acting like a couple of two year-olds! As they try to regain control of themselves, Martin comes in the front door. Martin: I'm home. Frasier: Dad? What are you doing here? Martin: Aw, Frisco was a bust! All our watering holes are gone, the steak house was a sushi bar, and this morning Duke and I went out for a walk. We passed City Hall, and there's this big crowd, kinda like a pep rally or something. So, we joined them. Well, some official guy up front says something that we didn't hear and the next thing you know, everybody's throwing rice and all the men are kissing each other and all the women are kissing each other, and I'm not sure but I think Duke and I may be married. Roz, Paula and Steve enter from the balcony. Martin has his back turned to them. Martin: Well, the whole weekend was like that! Just one surprising event- [turns round] AAH! As he steadies himself against the bookshelf, Niles and Daphne have to hold their giggles in again. Roz looks even more nervous. Steve: I-I'm sorry, did we startle you? Martin: Oh, no, no, [making up] I-I didn't know we had company. Frasier: Dad, Dad, this is Steve and Paula Garrett. They're Rick's parents, you remember Rick? Martin: Oh sure, yeah! [shaking hands] Hi, how are ya? Nice to meet you, Marty Crane. Uncomfortable silence. Roz: Oh, they're just on their way to Paris to visit Rick. Martin: Oh, yeah? That sounds like fun. Paula: Yeah, I'm just a little nervous. I hear the Parisians can be kinda snooty. Now Martin turns away, joining Niles and Daphne in furtive hysteria. Daphne: Excuse me, I've got something in the oven. [turns to the kitchen] Niles: [getting up] Let me help you. Martin: Yeah, uh, me too! As they leave, Frasier and Roz shrug apologetically at Steve and Paula. As soon as they make it into the kitchen, Martin, Niles and Daphne collapse with stifled, hysterical laughter. Martin steadies himself against the refrigerator, Niles falls over, Daphne takes a quiche from the oven and puts it on the side. Daphne: [whispering] We've got to stop, they'll hear us! Steve: [o.s., re: quiche] Mmmm, what's that I smell? Martin: [whispering] Probably Japan! Which sets them off anew. Whilst they are killing themselves with laughter, Frasier walks in and watches over the scene in anger. Frasier: What is the matter with you people?! Martin: Oh, come on Fras! Don't tell us you don't think this is funny! Frasier: Not in the slightest! These are two perfectly nice people, who happen to have large noses! The three of you standing in here, sniggering like school childen! Well, all right, fine. If you can't get yourselves under control you can just stay in here! Frasier enters the living room with the quiche. Frasier: Quiche Lorraine, anyone? Steve: Quiche her? I hardly know her! Paula: Oh, Steve! Frasier: [polite laugh] Steve: [puts nose over it] Boy, that smells wonderful. Paula: [with nose over it] Does it ever. Frasier holds in his laughter. Paula: Do you mind if I ask? Is this homemade or store-bought? Steve: Honey, don't ask that! Pardon my wife, sometimes she gets a little nosey. Niles, Daphne and Martin enter the room to hear the following. They are laughing underneath their hands and Frasier tries his utmost not to. Paula: Me nosey? You're the nosey one in the family. Steve: Anyone who knows you knows you're nosey! Paula: Anyone who knows you knows you're nosier! Frasier walks back to the kitchen and hands the quiche off to Daphne. He is obviously ridden with laughter but stopping himself from revealing it. Martin: Something wrong, Fras? As soon as he makes it into the kitchen, he bursts with hysterical - and clearly audible - laughter. Steve and Paula look confused, until he sticks his head back out. Frasier: [laughing] "Quiche her? I hardly know her!" [everyone laughs] I just got that! End Of Act One. (Time: 13:47) Act Two.
Scene One - Frasier's Apartment. Later, Roz is pouring herself a glass of water in the kitchen as Frasier enters. Frasier: You know Roz, in spite of a rather shaky beginning, I think this evening's turned out rather well. Roz: Oh yeah, and you were absolutely right, Frasier. Now I can see some of the qualities my baby can have. A great sense of humor... a sweet disposition... a nose like an [angry] ANT- EATER! Frasier: Frankly Roz, I think you're making a big deal out of nothing. As I remember, Rick had a perfectly fine nose, and so do you. I'm sure your baby's going to have one too. Roz: Maybe you're right. If Rick can beat those genes, my baby has a chance. They enter the living room to find Niles and Daphne talking to Paula and Steve. Paula: So, how long have you been working for Dr. Crane? Daphne: Five years just yesterday. In fact, he gave me a beautiful pair of sapphire earrings to mark the occasion. Niles: [unbelieving] Frasier gave you sapphires? Frasier: [worried] Who's for coffee? Steve: I'll take some. Paula: You know, you really must show those earrings to my husband. He's a jeweler, you know. He could probably even tell you what mine the stones came from. Frasier: [nervous] Well, you know, maybe coffee's a bad idea if you've got that early flight in the morning. Daphne, could you just take this back into the kitchen for me? Daphne: [feels ear] Oh dear, one of my earrings has gone! It must have fallen off somewhere! Paula: We'll help you find it. Steve: [on his knees] What does the earring look like? Frasier: No, no, that's not really necessary. Once you've seen one sapphire, you've seen them all. Steve: Well, that's not exactly true, they vary widely in quality. Frasier: [pulls him to his feet] You know, why don't you just get up? You have to get going, you know, we have plenty of people in order to form a search party. [laughs] And you know, we'll just trample each other. Well, good night. Paula: Alright, we are going to have a big day tomorrow. Frasier: Uh-huh, and you might as well get a little sleep before you take off. Steve: You know, if you can't find that earring, I might be able to replace it. Can I see the other one? Daphne: Oh, [begins to take it off]. Frasier: [quickly picks up something] I've got it! Here it is. Bon voyage! Daphne: Thank you, Dr. Crane. Frasier: Alright, Daphne, just a second. [to the couple] Well, listen, it was wonderful of you to come. Steve: Thank you for having us. Roz, it was great meeting you. Paula: Our door is always open. Roz: Thank you. You guys have a great trip. Frasier: Goodnight. [shuts door on them] Daphne: Goodnight. Steve: Goodnight. Daphne: Can I have it then? Frasier: [opens his hand] Oh, I'm sorry, it's just a piece of lint. Well, the search continues. Daphne: I feel just terrible! The one precious thing that anyone has ever bought me in my whole stinking life, and I lose it. Niles: Daphne, I found it. [hands it to her] Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane, I could kiss you! Niles: Okay. [she hugs and kisses him] Daphne: What's this? Niles: [nervous] Nothing. Daphne: [looks at ring] The setting's come loose. It's only blue on top, the bottom's all coppery. Dr. Crane... Frasier: I know what you're thinking Daphne, and you're right. Obviously I... Daphne: You've been swindled! Where did you buy these? I want to take these back and tell that lying cheat exactly what I think of him. Frasier: Actually, you just did. Daphne: You knew? [silence] Roz: [embarrassed by scene] Uh, Niles, how about a cup of coffee? Niles: [not about to miss this] Thanks, Roz, cream and sugar. Roz, who didn't expect this answer, just sits on a chair as Niles stands next to Daphne staring at Frasier. Frasier: I'm terribly sorry, Daphne, I meant to tell you eventually. Niles: You didn't need to. Her earlobe's already turning green. Frasier: Shut up, Niles! You see Daphne, the truth is, I didn't remember your anniversary and well, I saw them and I thought they were pretty, so I bought them for you. You thought they were genuine, you seemed so happy... Daphne: They are pretty. I suppose I can have them repaired. I'll just take them back to the jewelry store. Frasier: [stares at her] Actually, I bought them at Raymond's. Daphne: Raymond's drug store? Niles: Well, the good news is that they'll carry something for that ear infection- Frasier: SHUT UP! The doorbell sounds. Frasier answers it to find Mr. and Mrs. Garrett with some photos. Paula: It's us again! Gee, I almost forgot. Roz, I brought you something. I thought you might get a kick out of these. Here are some pictures of Ricky when he was a boy. [hands them over] Roz: Oh, thank you, that is so nice of you. [looks] Well, where is he? I don't see him. Steve: [points] There, in the middle. Roz: Oh... he looks so different. Steve: Oh, right, that was before his hockey accident. The nose job changed his whole face. Paula: I mean, not that the doctor didn't do a good job, but that's the Ricky you'll see in the baby. Roz: Well, thanks. Thanks a lot. Paula: Oh, you're welcome. And bye again. Frasier: Take care. Steve: Thanks. Frasier: Good to see you. Paula and Steve exit through the front door. As soon as Frasier closes it, Roz slams the photos against her chest. Roz: Oh my GOD! Frasier: Oh, come on, Roz! It can't be that bad, let me have a look! Roz: No, no way, no! I'll never hear the end of it! Frasier: Please. Roz releases the photos. He looks... and mutely shows them to Niles and Daphne. They stare. Niles: Where is the end of it? Roz whimpers. Frasier comforts her. The scene FADES OUT. Scene Two - Frasier's Apartment. At the end of the day, Roz is sitting up in her nightgown staring at some pictures as Daphne enters, also in her nightgown. She sits at the dining table with her. Daphne: Oh, Roz, you're not still looking at that picture, are you? Roz: Nope, this is a different one. Daphne: [looks] Oh dear, look at the way the ears on this poor little girl stick out. Roz: It's me. Aged nine, the year before I got them fixed. Daphne: [laughs] Sorry, Roz, I didn't recognize you with those glasses. Why is one side blacked out? Roz: I had a lazy eye. Daphne smothers a laugh. Roz: I got that fixed the next year. Let's just say for birthdays I wasn't asking for ponies. Daphne: [laughs] You poor thing. Roz: I'm just sitting here thinking, what if my kid gets Rick's nose, and my ears and eyes? Throw in my grandfather's third nipple, I might as well pitch a tent and charge admission. Daphne: Oh come on, nothing like that's going to happen. Roz: I just hate the idea of my kid being teased. [sighs] I know what that's like. As long as my baby's in here [rubs her womb] I can protect it from anything. But pretty soon this kid's going to be out there on his own. Daphne: Every child goes through a bit of teasing. I mean, it's a part of growing up. At least yours will be lucky enough to have a mother who understands what it feels like. And you'll know just what to say to make it all better. Roz: I really hadn't thought of it that way. Daphne: Well, I'm pretty good at finding the positive in things. I mean, look at what happened to me tonight; I could say, here I've worked for someone for five years and he forgot my anniversary and bought me a worthless piece of blue glass. But I'd rather say he gave me a nice pair of earrings just because he thought I'd like them. Which is really rather sweet when you think about it. Roz: Yeah well, Frasier will be pleased to hear that! Daphne: Oh, I'm not going to tell him! [they laugh] Well, I'm ready for bed. Roz: Yeah, me too. [they stand] Thanks again, Daphne. Daphne: Yep, you're welcome. As Roz gets up, she flinches and puts a hand on her belly. Roz: Ooh! I just felt a big kick. Daphne: You sure it wasn't a sneeze? Roz: Oh, ha-ha! Daphne: [laughing] That's the last one, I promise! Roz and Daphne laugh as they exit the room to Daphne's room. End Of Act Two. (Time: 20:10) Credits: Daphne is talking on the phone when Frasier comes in. When she hangs up, he apologizes and gives her another jewelry box. She opens it and sees a diamond pendant. She is ecstatic, and hugs him in delight. Embarrassed, he leaves. As soon as he's gone, she rushes to the desk, takes out a jeweler's loupe, and checks the stone.

Guest Appearances

 Guest Starring
 AMY LANDERS as Waitress

Legal Stuff

 This episode capsule is copyright 1999 by Nick Hartley. This episode
 summary remains property of Frasier, Copyright of Paramount
 Productions and NBC. Printed without permission. 

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