[6.21]When A Man Loves Two Women


When A Man Loves Two Women                    Written by Alex Gregory
                                              & Peter Huyck
                                              Directed by David Lee
=====================================================================
Production Code: 6.21
Episode Number In Production Order: 139
Episode Filmed on:
Original Airdate on NBC: 6th May 1999
Original Airdate on CH4: 28th May 1999.
Synopsis written on 6th May 1999.
Transcript written on 24th June.
Transcript revised on 8th November 2002

Faye & Cassandra Return {nick hartley}

This episode of "Frasier" is a sequel to two previous episodes of 
season six.  Faye Moskowitz (Amy Brenneman) was introduced in "Merry 
Christmas, Mrs. Moskowitz" (Episode 130 - 6.10). In this festive 
episode, Frasier meets Faye's mother whilst out shopping for his 
son's Hannukah (Freddy's Jewish).  Mrs. Moskowitz explains to Frasier 
how she wants him to go on a date with her daughter, Faye. They do 
until Faye realises Frasier is of Christian origin.  However, after 
all the trauma, they don't break it off.  Cassandra Stone (Virginia 
Madsen) was introduced in "Three Valentines" (Episode 134 - 6.14). 
She is Frasier's ad promotion adviser from KACL and they go on a date 
together - however Frasier is unsure whether it is a business date or 
a "date" date.  In this episode everyone turns up on the doorstep:

Transcript {nick hartley}

ACT ONE

Scene One - Frasier's Apartment.
In the kitchen, Daphne and Martin enter early in the morning.

 Martin: You know what I could go for?  Some fried eggs and bacon.
 Daphne: [handing him a bowl] Here's your bran flakes.
 Martin: Oh, fine!

They then go through a morning regime.  Daphne opens the fridge.  
As Martin takes something off the top shelf, she takes something off 
the bottom shelf, then vice versa.  Martin then picks up the toast as 
it pops out, exclaiming "Oh hot!" and slamming it down on a plate that 
Daphne is holding next to the toaster - their timing seems perfect. 
Daphne then walks into the living room as Eddie barks at Martin.

 Daphne: [calling] Don't give him any toast!
 Martin: I'm not!

Martin throws Eddie a toast point, then walks into the room and sits 
down at the table with Daphne.  Throughout this next little bit, Martin 
and Daphne are spreading butter and adding sugar without even looking.  
Firstly, Martin gets the paper and splits it up.

 Martin: [giving Daphne paper] Lifestyle. [giving himself paper] 
         Sports. [putting a huge chunk of paper on table] And 
         recycling.

Eddie then jumps up on to a chair and stares at them with lead in mouth.

 Daphne: Yes, we see you, Eddie - 8:00 on the dot.
 Martin: Well, he's a dog, what do you expect?  He's a creature of 
         habit.

Eddie runs off as Frasier enters from his room in a robe.

Frasier: Good morning, all. [they ad-lib hellos, he heads into the 
         kitchen] Say, Dad.  You remember that woman I went out 
         with on Valentine's Day but I wasn't quite sure if it was 
         a romantic thing?
 Martin: Yeah, that new publicity woman at the station.

Frasier emerges from the kitchen with two coffee mugs.

Frasier: Yes, Cassandra Stone.  Well, I asked her out again last night 
         and I got my answer.
 Martin: [concluded] Oh, I'm sorry, Fras'.
Frasier: No, I'm not finished!
 Martin: That's the spirit.  You hang in there.
 Daphne: You know, Dr. Crane, someone once said that long periods of 
         abstinence can actually refresh the soul.

Cassandra Stone enters in a blue robe.

Cassandra: Morning, everyone!
  Frasier: Yes, well that someone was me and I was full of it! 
           Everyone, this is Cassandra.
Cassandra: You must be Frasier's dad.  I've heard all about you. 
   Martin: [shaking her hand] Marty Crane.
Cassandra: Nice to meet you!

To his surprise, she then throws her arms around him in a warm hug.

   Martin: Well, nice to meet YOU too!
Cassandra: You are so cute!  Now I see where Frasier got those gorgeous 
           eyes.
  Frasier: [laughing] Enough.  This is Daphne Moon - my father's home 
           health care worker. [Daphne extends her hand]
Cassandra: [quickly] Hello. 

She turns back to Frasier, leaving Daphne's hand hanging.

   Martin: Are you going to join us for breakfast, Cassandra?
Cassandra: Oh, I could go for an English muffin.
  Frasier: Well, perhaps our own English muffin could fetch that for 
           you.

Daphne just stares daggers at Frasier.

  Frasier: Or I could get it-
Cassandra: No, I'll get it myself.

Cassandra disappears to the kitchen as the doorbell sounds. 

 Martin: Way to go, Fras, I like her!
 Daphne: Gee, I wonder why. [mimicking] "Now I see where Frasier gets 
         those gorgeous eyes."

[N.B. Daphne's attempts at an American accent are the subject of comedy 
in previous episodes like [1.21] "Travels With Martin" and [4.19] 
"Three Dates & A Breakup," but here Jane Leeves does it fairly 
effortlessly.  See also [7.11] "The Fight Before Christmas."]

Frasier answers the door to Niles.  He is dressed in his squash gear.

  Frasier: Niles.
    Niles: [entering] Hurry up and get dressed Frasier, we'll lose 
           our court. I must warn you I may be unbeatable today.  
           Our squash pro, Octavio, taught me a backhand slice that 
           could shave the bristles off a kiwi fruit.
  Frasier: Well Niles, I'm afraid we may have to reschedule today.  
           You see, I... [innuendo] had a date last night.
    Niles: [concluding] Oh, I'm sorry!  Hey, but there's no sense 
           moping around.  A brisk game of squash would be the best 
           thing for you - I can't think of a better way to lift your 
           spirits.
Cassandra: [enters from kitchen] Good morning.
  Frasier: [to Niles] Keep thinking.

As Niles gapes at Cassandra, we FADE OUT.

OF ALL THE COFFEE JOINTS IN ALL THE TOWNS IN ALL THE WORLD...
Scene Two - Café Nervosa. Later that day, Roz and Frasier are in the café chatting about last night. Frasier: I tell you, Roz, the entire evening was pure magic. Roz: Well, I'm happy for you. You have been in a dry spell, haven't you? Frasier: Oh no, Roz, that was just the calm before the storm. I assure you, we are in the midst of a full-blown love hurricane. [laughs] Roz: You were so much easier to be around when you were horny and pathetic. Frasier: Oh, sorry Roz, I have been monopolizing the conversation. So what's going on with you? Roz: Well, actually it has been a really exciting week. Of course Alice's first birthday party is this Sunday and we're having twelve of her little friends over. She loves bears, so the whole party's going to be this bear theme - party favours, bear cake; I'm going to dress up like a bear, I think, and do a little bear dance... Frasier tries to look interested but Roz just gets embarrassed. Roz: So, that's really great about you and Cassandra! Frasier: [excited] Yes, we're really hitting it off, I think... At that moment Faye Moskowitz passes their table and notices Frasier. Faye: Frasier? Frasier: Faye. Faye: Hi. Frasier: Oh my God, wow. Hi, it's been a while. Gosh, Faye Moskowitz, this is my producer, Roz Doyle. [they ad-lib hellos] So what have you been up to? Faye: Well, I just got back from Paris. Frasier: Really? I didn't even know you'd gone. Faye: You didn't get my message? Roz: Oh Frasier, before I forget: Faye called - she's going to France for a month. I'm sorry. Faye: Well, it's great to see you. We should get together for coffee sometime. Frasier: I'd love to. Roz: [getting up] Well I'm on my way out, why don't you take my seat? Faye: Uh, thanks. [to Frasier] If that's all right with you? Frasier: Of course. Faye: Great, well I'll put some money into my meter. Faye exits as Frasier takes Roz aside. Frasier: What are you doing?! I can't have coffee with her. Roz: Why not? Obviously she's still interested. Frasier: I'm seeing Cassandra, for God's sakes. I can't date two people at once. Roz: It doesn't have to be on the same night. Although if you're good at faking a headache and you don't mind getting changed in the car... Frasier: Roz! Roz: Well, did you tell Cassandra you were going to be exclusive to her? Frasier: No... Roz: So, then you're just dating. Relax, it's supposed to be fun. Just see where it takes you. Frasier: Well, that sort of lifestyle is all right for some people, but not for me. I'm a one-woman man... if that! Roz: Okay, suit yourself - keep it platonic. Frasier: Well, that's easy for you to say. How do you tell somebody that you're attracted to them but you just can't sleep with them? Roz: I guess you just say... you just say... I'll ask around. Roz exits the café. FADE TO: Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment. It's the following morning when Daphne and Martin enter the kitchen again. Martin: You know what I feel like this morning? Some French toast and sausage patties. Daphne: Here's your bran flakes. Martin: Oh, fine. Daphne and Martin go through the same regime as they did in Scene One. Everything goes identically - even Martin feeding Eddie some toast to which Daphne shouts: Daphne: You're not giving him any toast, are you? Martin: Of course not. Daphne and Martin enter the room to greet Frasier who is again dressed in his robe. Again he goes to the kitchen. Frasier: Oh, good morning. Daphne: Morning. Martin: I didn't hear you come in last night. You have a date? Frasier comes back from the kitchen holding up two mugs. Daphne: Well, I guess that answers that. Martin: Well, ease up there, Cassandra's a great gal - women like her don't come along every day. Faye enters, wearing the same blue robe Cassandra did the previous day. Faye: Morning. Daphne: No, they certainly don't! Frasier: Dad, Daphne, you remember Faye. Faye: Hi Martin, it's good to see you again. Martin: Yeah, likewise. Faye: And Daphne, you look gorgeous. Did you get your hair cut since the last time I saw you? Daphne: [overwhelmed by compliments] Well, yes I did. Can I fix you some breakfast? Faye: I have really got to run. I'm running late and I still have to call my friend at the museum to get tickets for that Seurat exhibit. I just hope it's not sold out. Frasier: Well if it is: Que Seurat, Seurat. [laughs] Faye: That was funnier the first time! Frasier: Yeah. [they kiss] Faye heads off to Frasier's bedroom as the three chat. Martin: What happened to Cassandra? Daphne: Obviously he dumped her for someone better. Frasier: I haven't dumped anyone. Daphne: What, you mean you're dating both of them? Frasier: No, I didn't intend to. It's just that - well, I ran into Faye yesterday and I was about to tell her about Cassandra. It's just that we were enjoying our coffee so much that coffee turned into dinner, and then dinner turned into drinks, and then drinks turned into, well... coffee again! The doorbell sounds. Frasier walks to the door carrying two full cups of coffee. Frasier: Damn! I completely forgot I rescheduled squash with Niles. [shouts through door] Don't be angry at me for still being in my robe. However when he opens the door it's Cassandra who's popped in on her way to work. Cassandra: I won't, I wish I were in mine! Frasier: Cassandra. [worried] What a surprise. Cassandra: I brought you some pastries. Frasier: Oh, isn't that thoughtful of you. [takes them] Cassandra: [enters] Hi Martin, Dixie. Frasier: [before Daphne erupts] Cassandra! You know, I'd love it if you could stay; [guides her back to the door] It's just that I've got to go and pick up my brother for a game of squash. Niles: [enters] Morning, all. Frasier: Well, isn't that a timesaver! You know, I've still got to go get dressed anyway, [opens door; hopefully] and I'll just see you back at the station? Cassandra: Okay, alright, have a good day. [just then] Oh, you know, I'll just use the powder room. She shuts the powder room door behind her. Frasier: [whispering] This is a disaster! Niles: What is? Faye, dressed, enters from the bedroom. Faye: Hi, Niles. Niles: Oh, I'm up to speed! Frasier: Morning. Faye: Well, I guess I'll just be... Frasier suddenly shushes her and begins whispering. Faye: What? Frasier: Uh, we just noticed there's a nest of baby hummingbirds on the balcony. And we're just keeping our voices down. You run along. Faye: [skeptical] Hummingbirds made it to the 19th floor? Frasier: Yes, well they're-they're Himalayan mountain hummers. Faye: Uh huh. Frasier: Very rare. Bye bye. Faye: Okay, I'll see you later, Frasier. [they kiss] Faye finally leaves through the front door. Frasier stands there in relief after the two women are kept apart. However at that moment, Cassandra opens the powder room door which slams right into Frasier. Cassandra: What are you doing? Frasier: [covering] I was just standing guard. The door is... lock's broken and sometimes Dad just wanders in. Cassandra glances at Martin, who looks mad while Daphne looks smug. Cassandra: Well, I know you've got your game so I'll just get out of your hair. Frasier: Right. Cassandra: Goodbye, everyone. Cassandra about to leave but Frasier looks through the spy hole in the door and sees Faye still waiting for the elevator. Frasier: Aren't I going to get a hug first? Cassandra: Of course. Frasier basically pins her against the door as he takes another look through the spy hole. Cassandra: Are you alright? Frasier: Oh yes, it's just so hard to say goodbye to you. He sees Faye getting into the lift and the doors closing. He releases Cassandra. Frasier: Well, time's a wasting, off you go, bye-bye! Frasier shuts the door and nearly collapses in relief. Niles: Got anymore hiding in the grotto, Hef? Frasier: Oh, for God's sakes... oh, I'm just not up to this sort of thing - what made me think I could juggle? Martin: I sure as hell don't know - you couldn't catch a balloon 'til you were ten. Frasier: Yes, thank you, Dad! You see, my problem is that each of them appeals to different sides of my personality. Faye is artistic and cerebral and cultured, and Cassandra is passionate and fun and spontaneous. Martin: Well, my vote sure goes for Cassandra. Daphne: Oh, you would say that. Any young woman who shows you any attention, you're ready to sign over your pension check! I think he should go for Faye. Martin: Oh, Faye, Faye - if he wants some boring, artsy-fartsy conversation, he's got Niles! Daphne nods in agreement with this sentence as Niles just stares at him until Frasier breaks the ice: Frasier: Yes, well my point is that I'm really torn here. I feel as if I honestly cannot choose. Niles: I think I might be able to help you with this. [takes out a quarter] Heads, it's Faye; Tails, Cassandra. Daphne: [sarcastic] Oh, this is the sort of thing that makes a woman feel really special! Frasier: Niles, you're actually going to flip a coin? The decision cannot be made that simply. Martin: Well, it's not going to be that simple. The chances of Niles catching that quarter are about the same as you... Frasier: Enough, Dad! Niles: Just go with me on this, Frasier. Heads, it's Faye; tails, Cassandra. He is about to flip the coin when he notices Martin and Daphne looking at him waiting for him to drop it. Niles decides he can better them and takes the coin straight to the back of his hand. Niles: And the winner is... [points at Frasier] Admit it! You want me to say one name more than the other. Frasier: Niles, you're right, I do - Cassandra. Martin/Daphne: [raising his arms] Yes!/Oh! Niles: There you have it. Frasier: Thank you, thank you, Niles. Wow, what a relief. You know, my life was perfectly happy before Faye came back, you know? Yes, yes, it's Cassandra - she's the one. Next time I see Faye I'll just have to tell her it's over. Oh gosh, Niles, I'm sorry - I'm afraid we've lost our court again. Do you mind if we reschedule it just once more? Niles: All right, that's fine. Martin: I've got to hand it to you, Frasier. You had a tough decision to make, but you made it. Heck, I can't even decide whether to have the strawberry or the grape jelly. Niles: Well, Dad, I stil have my trusty quarter. Let's say heads, grape; tails, strawberry. Niles flips the coin and it smacks him right between the eyes. He falls over in pain, taking half of Frasier's ornaments with him as he goes. Martin: [shaking his head] You've got to wonder what goes on, on that squash court. Daphne nods in agreement. End Of Act One. (Time: 11:30) Act Two. Scene Four - Frasier's Apartment. The following morning, identical to the first line of Act One, Martin and Daphne enter the kitchen. Martin: You know what I could go for this morning? A big old Spanish omelet. Daphne: Here's your bran flakes. However, this time Martin just stares at it. He is upset because the bowl isn't his usual yellow one - it's red. Martin: What's that? Daphne: Your yellow bowl broke in the dishwasher. Martin: Well, don't you have another one? Daphne: Afraid not. Martin: Well - red, yellow - what difference does it make? Yet it does make a difference. When Daphne opens the fridge they both go to the top shelf at the same time and hurt their heads. They then do the same on the bottom shelf. Then when Daphne shuts the fridge door she is still rubbing her head when Martin throws the toast out of the toaster. It falls to the floor. Martin: No, I don't like this red bowl - it's thrown everything off! Daphne: You know, I think we do have another yellow bowl. Why don't you go and sit down and I'll fetch it for you. Martin: Okay. [leaves] Daphne: [takes Eddie's bowl] Back off, I need this! As Daphne takes Eddie's bowl and begins to wash it, Martin enters the living room to find Frasier perched on the sofa arm. Frasier: Oh, morning, Dad. Martin: Everything go alright with Faye last night? She didn't take the breakup too hard, did she? Frasier: Not really. Martin: Well, I'm sure she realizes, pretty as she is, that she won't be alone for long. Faye enters in the blue robe. Faye: Good morning, Martin. Martin: What'd I tell you? [doorbell rings; to Faye] Hi, how you doing? I'll get this. As he goes to the door, Faye drops her voice and playfully drums her fists on Frasier's chest. Faye: I had an incredible time last night. Frasier: Me too. [kisses her] Martin opens the door to Niles, wearing his squash gear. Niles: Morning, all! [sees Frasier & Faye] Oh, forget it. He leaves. FADE TO: Scene Two - Café Nervosa. Later that day, Niles and Frasier are sitting down at the front table in the café. They are discussing the morning. Frasier: Niles. [sits down] Niles: Frasier. Frasier: Glad you're here. Look, I'm so sorry about this morning. Niles: Oh, oh, oh, not at all, I ended up playing an exhilarating game with Chip Emery. Frasier: Oh. Niles: I won two out of three sets, and if you recall, Chip was club champion four years running. Frasier: Yes, and I also recall that that record comes with an asterisk: I believe his streak was interrupted by World War Two. Niles: [pouring milk into his coffee] It was Korea and you know it! Frasier: [to waiter] Can I have my usual, please? Niles: So why was Faye at your apartment this morning? Frasier: Well, actually I almost made a terrible mistake. Last night, I was prepared to break things off with her - and then suddenly we fell into this marvelous conversation about architecture. And as it turns out, she detests the design of the Bilbao art museum as much as I do. Niles: [understanding] And you almost let her go. Frasier: Yes, exactly! Well, you know, Cassandra is a wonderful woman. But, well, Faye and I have a, a deeper connection - and to be fair, actually, she was the first to plant her flag on "Terra Frasier." Niles: I'm starting to think Napoleon had a Frasier complex. Frasier: Yes, all right! Cassandra comes into the cafe. Frasier: Oh, there's Cassandra. I asked her here for coffee - I was going to tell her that we can't see each other any longer. Niles: [getting up] Good luck. Frasier: Thank you, thank you, Niles. As Niles orders another coffee at the bar, Frasier calls Cassandra over and they sit at the table. Frasier: Cassandra. Cassandra: Hi, honey. Frasier: Hi. [kisses her] Cassandra: [to waiter] Double Espresso, please. [to Frasier] I have great news. Frasier: Really? Cassandra: Those new promos are working wonders. I just got the numbers and you're really scoring with women between the ages of 25 and 49. Frasier: [breaking the ice] Well, that's not always a good thing. Cassandra: You alright? Frasier: Actually, I-I wanted to talk to you about our relationship. You see, I... Cassandra: I know where we're going: a serious talk. Frasier: You see, there comes a time in every relationship when you have to decide... Cassandra: I know, whether we're going to be exclusive or not. I've been wanting to talk to you about that too. Frasier: [happy] You have? Cassandra: Yes. You see, I thought you should know that I've been seeing someone else. Frasier: [confused] Really?! Cassandra: Does that bother you? Frasier: No, no, no, no, actually, not at all. Cassandra: Oh, good. Frasier: Anyway, what I wanted to say was that- [still worried] well, how long you been seeing this other fellow? Cassandra: Not very long. You're not upset, are you? Frasier: No, no, no, no. Actually, I was about to say- well, uh, what does he do? Cassandra: He owns his own venture capital firm. Although he spends most of his time racing sail boats and rebuilding trails for the Sierra Club. Frasier: Oh really, seems a little unfocused, doesn't he?! Frasier angrily reaches for a plastic stirrer, and like a madman swirls his sugar into his coffee. Cassandra picks up the signs. Cassandra: You are upset, aren't you? Frasier: No, no, no, no. Cassandra: Really, there's no reason to be jealous of Sloan! Frasier: [chuckling] Believe me, I am not jealous of Sloan! [licking his stirrer] If anything, I pity the man who has to go through life with a pretentious name like that! Cassandra: Frasier! Frasier: Alright, fine, fine. You know what, let's just drop the whole thing, alright? Cassandra: Now, about those new promos.... Frasier: Cassandra, I want us to be exclusive! Cassandra: What? Frasier: Yes well, I'm the kind of person who can make a decision and commit to it. And I was hoping that you might be that sort of person too. Cassandra: Frasier, I'm so touched. If you only want us to be with each other - that's great. I was supposed to see Sloan tonight, but I'm going to call him and cancel. Frasier: Oh, that's wonderful - oh my god, that means we can spend the night together. Frasier and Cassandra kiss as she leaves to call Sloan. Niles comes over to the table, sees Frasier's ear-to-ear grin, and understands. Niles: Looks like she took the news well - are you insane?! Frasier: Niles, I almost made a terrible mistake. Niles: What could possibly have happened in the last four minutes to make you change your mind again? Frasier: Actually, when Cassandra told me that she was seeing somebody else, it awakened something in me. Niles: Oh, petty jealousy? Frasier: No! The realization that I couldn't bear to lose her. Niles: Yes, and the minute you see Faye you'll reverse yourself again! Frasier: No, no, I won't. I'll prove it to you. Cassandra is the one! I'm sure of it. Frasier takes his mobile and phones Faye. Frasier: [to Niles] Oh, her machine. [into phone] Yes, Faye - it's Frasier. Uh, listen, I won't be able to join you for dinner tonight, but perhaps you could call me later - we need to talk. [hangs up] There, I've done it. Nothing says, "It's over between us" quite like the phrase "we need to talk." You see, that was my problem, actually - I kept leaving the door open. Niles: Well, I'm very proud of you, Frasier. Frasier: Thank you. Niles: An enlightened man is he who can learn from his mistakes. Squash tomorrow morning? Frasier: Nine AM, my place. Niles: See you then. Niles walks out of the café as Cassandra comes down after chatting with Sloan. Cassandra: Well, I called him. [sits with Frasier] I probably should feel guilty but I'm just so glad it's just the two of us now. Frasier: I'm ecstatic. Cassandra: I know a cute little bed-and-breakfast we can go to this weekend. Frasier: Oh, really? Cassandra: [to waiter bringing her coffee] Thank you. As Cassandra begins chatting to Frasier, he begins mentally reviewing the situation: Frasier: [v.o] What a relief this is. I've made my choice. Look at her, I've found an angel... an angel who wears an awful lot of makeup. I've never noticed that before. Faye doesn't paint her face up like that. Cassandra: And they have the cutest little four poster beds in each room. Frasier: That sounds lovely. [v.o] My, she uses the word "cute" a lot. I'm cute, this café is cute, now the bed is cute. Faye used the word "jejeune" last night. Cassandra: Oh, you know, I meant to tell you, I really liked how you handled that nasty caller yesterday. It was such a clever way of... Frasier: [v.o] God, all she talks about is work, work, work. And now I'll see her every morning before work, and at work, and after work. I feel trapped! Can't breathe... Wait! What are you doing? It's just your fear talking. She's a wonderful woman. She's the one. She's perfect! Cassandra: And then I ran into Roz after the show, and she told me the cutest little story that... Frasier: [aloud] Cassandra... we need to talk. FADE TO: Scene Three - Faye's Apartment. That evening, someone is frantically ringing the doorbell. Faye, wearing a short, tide-dyed t-shirt, answers the door. Faye: Frasier? Frasier: Faye, hi. [enters] Uh, look, we-we really need to talk. Faye: I know, I got your message. I thought you couldn't see me tonight. Frasier: Yes, well I just had some unfinished business with the promotions department, but that's all done now. Faye: Well, I wish you would had called, I would have put something on. [she pulls her t-shirt down] Frasier: No, no, you look beautiful. Listen, Faye: I-I want us to be exclusive. Faye: [surprised] What? Frasier: Yes, I want to take our relationship to the next level. I just want to be with you. Faye: Wow. I'm a little surprised. You said "we need to talk" on the machine, and you know, that usually means it's over. Frasier: [acting the innocent] Really? I had no idea. Faye: Well, this is wonderful! They hug. Frasier: Oh God, so it's just you and me. God, this is exhilarating. Faye: Well, this is turning out to be the best day ever. Because, well, okay, Chris McKenna - the restaurant critic? - he comes over to the restaurant this morning and... As Faye tells her little story, Frasier again reviews his situation. Frasier: [v.o] What is she thinking with that ridiculous shirt? Tie-dyed?! Stop it, Frasier. You can't do this to yourself. This is nothing more than the natural panic of finally making your choice. Faye: ...and it turned out that the printer had messed up, and the menu said "flab" instead of "flan!" Frasier: [laughs] That is so precious. [v.o] And so is she, precious. My Faye - Faye, as in Faye-vourite. This feels so much better now that I've relaxed. I was about to doom this whole relationship with my neurotic nitpicking. But it's clear sailing now. Faye: Well, enough about me. How was your day? Frasier: Well, it certainly ended well. [she smiles and caresses his cheek] Although something funny did happen at the station — it was during the second hour of my show... Faye: [v.o] My God, he really does love to talk about himself. [glances down] Is that another new pair of shoes? He's got more shoes than I do! Faye then decides it's best not to nitpick, and laughs at his joke as we FADE OUT. Credits: Frasier's Apartment In the kitchen, Eddie doesn't seem to be touching his water. It is in the red bowl that Martin couldn't use at the start of Act Two. So Daphne goes into the room to get Martin's yellow bowl that originally was Eddie's. Martin refuses to give it to her until he eats his last bran flake. Daphne then rushes into the kitchen with it and fills it with water. She then lays it down in front of Eddie who merrily drinks from it.

Guest Appearances

 Special Guest Stars
 VIRGINIA MADSEN as Cassandra
 AMY BRENNEMAN as Faye 

Quick Synopsis {kathy churay}


ACT ONE

Scene One - Frasier's Apartment - Morning

Martin and Daphne are in the kitchen, maneuvering around one another 
with the balletic grace and split-second timing of long practice.  
They've obviously got it down to a science, including the same old 
ritual complaints and Martin feeding the dog a forbidden piece of 
toast. 

They move to the living room with breakfast and Frasier emerges from 
his room in a cheerful mood.  He reveals that he has asked out 
Cassandra again, the same women he dated ambiguously in the 
Valentine's day episode.  Martin and Daphne jump to the obvious 
conclusion and start comforting him over his failed romance, only to 
be embarrassed when Cassandra herself emerges from the bedroom in a 
dressing gown.  She is full of flattery and compliments for Martin, 
who is thoroughly charmed, though she all but ignores Daphne.  
Frasier suggests Daphne make breakfast for Cassandra, but Daphne just 
glares and Cassandra goes off to the kitchen to make it herself as 
Daphne does a dead-on imitation of Cassandra's flattery, complete 
with American accent.

Niles comes to the door in his squash outfit, full of reproof for 
Frasier at not even being dressed for their game.  Frasier tells him 
they will have to reschedule because he had a date last night.  Niles 
too leaps to conclusions and starts comforting Frasier.  "A brisk 
game of squash will be the best thing for you.  I can't think of a 
better way to lift your spirits."  As Cassandra emerges from the 
kitchen, Frasier remarks dryly, "Keep thinking."


Of All The Coffee Joints In All The Towns In All The World...
Scene Two - Cafe Nervosa Frasier is having coffee with Roz and smugly recounting the latest chapter of his romance with Cassandra. Roz is a bit nauseated by him but tries gamely to stay interested. Finally Frasier asks about her life, and Roz excitedly tells him the plans for Alice's first birthday party the following Sunday. Frasier just looks at her blankly and Roz gives up trying to keep his attention, changing the subject back to Frasier and his love life. Just then Faye Moskowitz happens by. Frasier greets her with a big hug and Faye tells him she just got back from a month in France. She had left him a message but Roz forgot to deliver it. Roz sees which way the wind is blowing and gets up to leave, giving her seat to Faye. Faye happily accepts and goes outside to put money in her parking meter. Frasier panics and says he can't have coffee with Faye because he's dating Cassandra. Roz asks him whether he and and Cassandra have agreed to date each other exclusively, and Frasier has to admit they haven't. In that case, Roz advises, he's under no obligation not to see other women, although he could keep things platonic with Faye if that would make him feel better. He asks her how to tell Faye such a thing, but Roz has never had to do that and can't think of the words. Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment - The Next Morning Martin and Daphne are making breakfast again, doing their usual graceful ballet around one another. As they move to the breakfast table Frasier enters in his dressing gown, and Martin asks him if he had a date the night before. In answer Frasier holds up two coffee cups instead of his usual one, and Martin compliments him on his choice of women. "Women like Cassandra don't come along every day." Daphne is amused when the woman who comes out of the bedroom in one of Frasier's bathrobes is not Cassandra but Faye. Faye greets them and compliments Daphne on her new haircut. Daphne beams and offers to fix her breakfast, but Faye declines and heads for the bedroom to get dressed. Frasier is following her with the coffee when the doorbell rings, and it's Cassandra with a bag of pastry. Frasier nervously begs off and tells her that he has a squash game with Niles, so Cassandra starts to leave, only to make a side trip to the powder room. Frasier grimly admits Niles, who has shown up for the rescheduled squash game. Frasier: (sotto voce) "This is a disaster!" Niles: "What is?" Faye: (now fully dressed) "Hi, Niles." Niles: "Oh, I'm up to speed!" Frasier hustles Faye quickly out of the apartment just in time as Cassandra exits the bathroom and tries to leave. Frasier keeps hugging her and playing for time until he can see through the front door peephole that Faye has boarded the elevator and left Then he practically shoves Cassandra out the door. Niles teases him about his plethora of women and Frasier defends himself by saying that each of them appeals to a different side of his personality -- Cassandra to the passionate, earthy side and Faye to the cultural, arty side. Martin makes it clear he prefers Cassandra and Daphne gives him a hard time about his susceptibility to flattery. Niles attempts to help Frasier decide by offering to flip a coin, but stops at the last minute and forces Frasier to admit he wants one woman to be the winner of the coin toss. Frasier finally comes clean -- Cassandra is the one he prefers, to Martin's delight and Daphne's consternation. Martinc compliments Frasier on his ability to make a tough choice, saying that he himself can't decide between two kinds of jam. Niles offers to help Martin decide and flips the coin, hitting himself in the head and causing one of his patented disastrous Niles pratfalls. Martin and Daphne don't bat an eye. ACT TWO Scene One - Frasier's Apartment - The Next Morning Martin and Daphne are doing their morning ballet, only this time Martin's favorite yellow cereal bowl has broken in the dishwasher and he has to use a different one. This is enough to throw off his entire morning ritual, and he and Daphne keep bumping into one another till Daphne offers to find another yellow bowl somewhere around. She pushes Martin out of the kitchen and grabs Eddie's yellow water bowl to give it a quick wash. Martin asks Frasier how his breakup with Faye had gone the day before, but doesn't need to wonder for long as Faye once again appears in Frasier's bathrobe. Niles shows up at the front door ready for squash, but promptly turns around and leaves in disgust when he sees Faye. Scene Two - Cafe Nervosa - Later That Day Niles is having coffee as Frasier bustles in to apologize for missing the squash game for the third time. Niles is trying to understand Frasier's logic in spending the night with Faye, and Frasier explains that his conversation with Faye had just led him to understand that he and Faye had a deeper connection than with Cassandra. In fact, he has asked Cassandra to meet him at the cafe so that he can tell her goodbye. Just then she comes into the cafe, and Niles makes himself scarce. Cassandra sits down and Frasier begins the conversation tensely. Cassandra clearly thinks he's going to call things off and tells him not to feel bad -- she's been dating someone else. Frasier tries to complete his speech but is badly thrown by Cassandra's news. In fact, he's so overcome with jealousy that he ends up asking her to date him exclusively. Cassandra is pleased and begins to chatter on happily, as in voiceover we hear Frasier's doubts begin to surface about her every little flaw. She goes off to make a phone call to her other boyfriend and call off that evening's date, and Niles comes over to the table, having seen the whole thing from across the room. Niles gave Frasier a hard time about his sudden change of heart. Frasier, of course, insists that Cassandra is the only woman for him, and calls Faye his cell phone to break it off with her right then. She isn't home, so he leaves a message cancelling their dinner plans for that evening and telling her ominously, "We need to talk." But as soon as Cassandra returns to the table his doubts return, and he breaks things off with her. Scene Three - Faye's Apartment - That Evening Frasier comes to Faye's apartment and asks her to date him exclusively. Faye is surprised and happy and tells him that she will. They sit on the couch and Frasier's doubts begin running audibly through his mind again, only this time they were immediately followed by Faye's doubts about Frasier, which we can also hear. "Are those new shoes again? He has more shoes than I do..." Credits: Frasier's Apartment - Morning Daphne gives Eddie some water from the red bowl that Martin rejected the day before. Obviously it isn't Eddie's favorite because he won't drink from it. Daphne goes to the dining room and hovers over Martin until he finishes eating his breakfast cereal and hands the bowl over to her disgustedly. Daphne bolts to the kitchen and fills it with water for Eddie, who drinks happily.

Legal Stuff


 This episode capsule is copyright 1999 by Kathy Churay & Nick
 Hartley. This episode summary remains property of Frasier, Copyright
 of Paramount Productions and NBC. Printed without permission. 

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