[6.20]Dr. Nora


Dr. Nora                                   Written by Joe Keenan
                                           Directed by Katy Garretson
=====================================================================
Production Code: 6.16
Episode Number In Production Order: 138
Episode Filmed on:
Original Airdate on NBC: 29th April 1999
Original Airdate on CH4: 21st May 1999
Synopsis written on 29th April 1999
Transcript written on 13th July 2000
Transcript revised on 8th November 2002

AWARDS & NOMINATIONS

Nominated

AMERICAN COMEDY AWARD
·  Funniest Female Guest Appearance in a TV Series: Christine 
   Baranski
DIRECTORS GUILD OF AMERICA
·  Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Comedy Series: Katy 
   Garretson
EMMY
·  Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: Christine 
   Baranski
·  Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: Piper Laurie

Transcript {mike lee}


ACT ONE

Scene One — Café Nervosa
Niles comes into the Café just as Frasier is saying goodbye to 
another man, who leaves.

Frasier: Hello, Niles. 
  Niles: Frasier, was that the author Dr. Gordon Edelstein?
Frasier: Yes.
  Niles: I wasn't aware you knew him!
Frasier: Yes, well, we just met.  You see, the station is hiring 
         another call-in psychiatrist for a one-week trial period, 
         and they've asked me to choose among the finalists.
  Niles: Well, he'd be wonderful!  I just finished his book on the 
         victims of obsessive-compulsive disorder. [wiping down his 
         chair] Poor, tic-ridden devils! [sits]
Frasier: Niles, before you take out your utensil chamois, I've got to 
         tell you I have another interview in just a few minutes, all 
         right?  Though it's going to be tough to top Dr. Edelstein.
  Niles: I must say, you're taking this rather well.
Frasier: What do you mean.
  Niles: Many people in your position would feel threatened at the 
         thought of... well, another cat sharing the litter-box.
Frasier: Your flattering analogy aside, Niles, I take it as a tribute.  
         Obviously, the station is so pleased with my show that they're 
         looking for more of the same.  They could hardly ask me to do 
         another three hours.  Imagine how exhausting that would be.
  Niles: And for you as well.  Anyway, moving on to me, what's the 
         verdict?
Frasier: Verdict?
  Niles: On my new look.  I must say, you deserve some of the credit.
Frasier: Really?
  Niles: Well, yes, you keep saying I should accept Daphne's 
         relationship with Donny and find a paramour of my own.  
         Well, the hunt is on!  I thought to bolster my self-esteem 
         I would adopt this raffish new look!
Frasier: Well, it suits you.  Dashing, and yet understated, and, uh... 
         oh, I give up, what are we talking about?
  Niles: My mustache. [stretches his upper lip] I grant you, it's at 
         an early stage.
Frasier: What stage, Research & Development?

A blond woman in a smart suit comes into the café.

   Nora: Dr. Crane?  Dr. Nora Fairchild.
Frasier: Oh yes, of course.  Welcome.
   Nora: I can't tell you what a privilege this is.  I listened to 
         your show today, and I was amazed!  I hope that doesn't 
         sound too fawning.
Frasier: Oh, fawning is just fine.  Fawning is fun!
   Nora: I hope I'm not interrupting another interview?
Frasier: No, no, this is my brother, Niles Crane.  He was just about 
         to leave.
   Nora: I should have known you two were brothers.  The same superb 
         fashion sense, the same refined yet masculine good looks. 
         [to Niles] You must be so proud of your kid brother, the 
         radio star.
  Niles: Well, yes.  Congratulations on your new job, I hope you'll 
         be very happy at KACL.
   Nora: Isn't that a bit premature?
  Niles: Oh well, let's just say I know my little brother.

FADE TO:

Scene Two — KACL
Frasier and Kenny (the station manager) issue Dr. Nora in, followed 
by her producer, George.

   Nora: I want to thank you both for making me and my producer feel 
         so welcome.  Is everyone around here as friendly as you two?
Frasier: Well...

Roz, catching sight of George, comes out of her booth and cozies up.

    Roz: Well, hello there!
Frasier: Some are even friendlier.  This is my producer, Roz Doyle.
   Nora: Dr. Nora, and this is my producer, George.
    Roz: Nice to meet you.
 George: Hello.
    Roz: Follow me and I'll give you the lay of the land.

She leads George into her booth.

Frasier: Let's just hope that's a figure of speech, not a sales pitch.  
         Well, Nora, please, please, do come in, make yourself at home. 
         [she sits in his chair] Here we are, get settled in.  Here's 
         your headset, of course the phone lines, everything's pretty 
         self-explanatory, cough button, on-air button.  Listen, I want 
         you to remember it's all right to be nervous.  Even my first 
         show was a tad bumpy.
  Kenny: "Bumpy?" [laughs] It was a train wreck!  "Medic, we got 
         incoming!"
Frasier: Yes, thank you, Kenny.  As I recall, you weren't even here 
         then.
  Kenny: Oh, I got a tape of it from my Secret Santa.  Break a leg, 
         Dr. Nora.
   Nora: Thank you.
Frasier: I'll get out of your hair.  Godspeed, Dr. Nora.

She smiles at him.  He leaves the booth and closes the door.  Out in 
the hall, he claps with anticipation.  Roz sees him.

    Roz: What are you smirking about?
Frasier: Oh, gosh, it's just so much fun to have a protégé.  You see 
         the way she behaves towards me?  It's like a shy Japanese 
         novice bowing before her Frasier sensei!
    Roz: I feel a bow coming on myself.  Could you pass me that 
         wastebasket?
Frasier: Stop it!  Shh, she's about to start.  I just want to catch 
         the beginning, make sure she's got those first-show jitters 
         under control.

In the booth, Nora finished introducing herself.

   Nora: All right, let's get right to our first caller.  Whom do we 
         have?
 George: We have Jenny from Tacoma on line one.
   Nora: Hello, Jenny, I'm Dr. Nora and I'm here to help.
  Jenny: [v.o.] Hi, Dr. Nora.  My boyfriend and I have been living 
         together for about two years—
   Nora: Are you having sex?
  Jenny: Our sex life's not the problem, it's great.  But whenever 
         I mention marriage he changes the subject.  Do you think 
         that he's afraid of commitment?
   Nora: No, that's it.  Let me help you see this from a different 
         perspective. 

In the hall, Frasier and Roz have seen enough, and walk down the hall.

   Nora: You're a whore, Jenny.

Frasier and Roz rush back and stare through the glass.

  Jenny: Huh?  A-a whore?!
   Nora: You're sleeping with a man you're not married to.  In my book, 
         that's a whore.
  Jenny: I-I'm not a whore!  I'm a flight attendant!
   Nora: Oh, you think there's no overlap?

She laughs at her joke.  George grins.

    Roz: Well, she's got her jitters under control!

In the booth:

   Nora: Wake up, Jenny, you've blown it!  Dump this creep!  Find a 
         new guy, and until you're Mrs. New Guy you keep those knees 
         together, OK?  Staple them!  I don't care if you have to hop 
         to the altar! [laughs] God bless, honey.  Who's next?

In the hall, Frasier is reeling at what he's unleashed.

FADE TO:

Scene Three — Apartment
Daphne is drying dishes in the kitchen.  Niles walks in.

  Niles: Hello, Daphne.
 Daphne: Hello.
  Niles: Notice anything?
 Daphne: [pause, then] Oh yes, don't you look dashing!  Blue really is 
         your color.  Hold still, though, there's something on your 
         lip. [holds his chin and wipes his lip with the dishrag] Oh, 
         wait, it's some sort of hair.
  Niles: Actually, it's a mustache.
 Daphne: Oh yes, so it is.  Still a bit on the wispy side.  Yeah, puts 
         me in mind of my Grammy Moon.  Or rather it will, once it's 
         grown in a bit.

They go out into the living room, Martin is reading the paper.  
Frasier comes in.

Frasier: Turn on the radio.
 Martin: Something the matter?
Frasier: Just turn the radio on to KACL, please.

Daphne does.

   Nora: [v.o.] Listen to me, you have a child!  You think you have the 
         right to get divorced just because you're tired of your 
         husband?
   Jill: [v.o.] But he's gay!
   Nora: You picked him.  You made a baby with him.  Maybe you got him 
         drunk, maybe you dressed up as Antonio Banderas, I don't care!  
         Just make it work!

Daphne turns off the radio.


  Niles: Well, that's a bit harsh!
Frasier: Oh, please.  This is a woman who believes the Spanish 
         Inquisition was just tough love for heretics!
 Martin: You know, we were listening to her while I was doing my 
         exercises, and I don't think she's so bad.
Frasier: Excuse me?!
 Martin: Well, it's nice to have someone stand up for old-fashioned 
         values.  Like sex.  I mean, I'm no prude, but in my day sex 
         was still something sacred, and mysterious.  Nowadays, you 
         can't even turn on the television without seeing all this 
         "Ooh-ooh, Ah-ah" stuff!
Frasier: Well, I think that explains our ninety dollar cable bill 
         this month!

Martin covers his face with the paper.

 Daphne: I liked her too.  She reminds me of my old mum.  She'll point 
         out every little flaw you've got, remind you of every mistake 
         you ever made, tell you you're lazy, you'll never amount to 
         anything, and no good man will ever have you.  But, it's just 
         because she loves you!  In fact, I think I'll give old Mum a 
         call!

Daphne goes to her room.

 Martin: You know, if you hate her so much, why did you hire her?
Frasier: Well, I didn't know she was going to behave this way!  She 
         said all the right things at the interview.
  Niles: Ho-ho, she certainly did!  She complimented his clothes, his 
         looks, she even pretended to believe I was the older brother.  
         Of course, the mustache may have clouded her judgment on that.
 Martin: She has a mustache?
Frasier: Well, like it or not, I am responsible for her being here.  
         I'll just have to have a talk with her.  Tell her to soften 
         her approach a bit before she alienates her entire audience.  
         I mean, really, people can tell the difference between 
         constructive criticism and outright abuse!

Daphne crosses the room with the cordless phone.

 Daphne: No, Mum, my boyfriend hasn't dumped me for someone prettier 
         and smarter yet! [laughs; to the gang] She's such an old 
         tease.

FADE TO:

DR. RUTHLESS
Scene Four — KACL Frasier is finishing his show. Frasier: Until tomorrow, then, this is Dr. Frasier Crane. He goes off the air. Dr. Nora comes in. Frasier: Ah, Dr. Nora. Nora: Such a frosty tone. Is something the matter? Frasier: I have just one question— Roz storms in from her booth. Roz: What kind of vicious, judgmental, name-calling, machete- mouthed bitch are you? Frasier: I was going for the less feisty version. Roz: I heard what you said to that single mother yesterday. For your information, I happen to be a single mom too. Nora: That doesn't surprise me after watching you pounce on poor George like a Kodiak bear on a salmon. Roz: That does it...! Frasier: Roz, Roz, stop it! I have to talk to Dr. Nora before her show. Now, just pencil the hair-pulling for later, all right? Roz: All right. [to Nora] But this isn't over between us. If you want, I'll take this out on the street. Nora: That would hardly be fair. You'd have the home field advantage. [laughs] Roz lunges, but Frasier holds her back and shoos her out of the booth. Frasier: Well, I don't even know where to begin. Nora: Save it. Whatever it is, I've already heard it. "Dr. Nora is mean, Dr. Nora hurts people's feelings." Well, too bad. I'm not here to coddle people, I'm here to help them. Frasier: Oh, really? And just how were you helping that poor, confused bisexual woman by calling her an "equal-opportunity slut?" You know, the worst thing about this is how you misrepresented yourself to get this job. Nora: You're hardly one to question my ethics. We both know you hired me because you hoped I might sleep with you. Frasier: That thought never occurred to me! Nora: Now who's lying? You won't admit that, like most men, you leave all major decisions to your penis. Fortunately for Seattle, your penis chose right. It just didn't know why. Frasier: Yes, well, you're just forgetting one thing, Dr. Nora. You are here on my recommendation, you may consider it withdrawn. Kenny comes in. Kenny: Hey, Dr. Crane. Frasier: Ah, Kenny, just the man I wanted to see. Kenny: Dr. Nora — don't hit me! [laughs] Frasier: I want to talk to you about Dr. Nora's show. Kenny: Yeah, well, get in line. The switchboards were going nuts. Frasier: I don't doubt it. Kenny: They love you! Frasier: Excuse me?! Kenny: Well, except for the ones that hate you. But either way, they're listening. So you consider that option picked up. George: Ten seconds. Nora: Thank you, Kenny. Now get out of my booth. Kenny: [acting scared] Ooh! [then, obedient] Yes, ma'am. Kenny and Frasier leave the booth. Frasier: Kenny, you can't be serious about hiring that woman full-time! Putting that woman behind a microphone is like putting Typhoid Mary in a kissing booth! Kenny: I'm sorry, Doc. Ratings are ratings. In the booth: Tom: [v.o.] Hi, Dr. Nora, my name is Tom, and I have this co-worker who's really driving me up the wall. What can I do about it? Nora: Not a thing, Tom. Not one damn thing. She smirks over her shoulder at Frasier. Furious, he leaves. END OF ACT ONE ACT TWO Scene Five - KACL. Frasier is on the air with a woman, Denise. Dr. Nora watches from the hallway. Denise: [v.o.] Nothing I ever do is good enough for her. I baked a cake for her birthday, and she said it tasted like sawdust. I know she's my mother, but sometimes I just want to shut her out of my life. Frasier: Oh, Denise, burning bridges solves nothing. I'd like to suggest that you seek family counseling to help you and your mother get to the root of some of these issues, provided your mother's willing to cooperate. If not, perhaps individual counseling would help. Will you stay on the line so Roz can give you some numbers? Denise: O.K. Thank you, Dr. Crane. Frasier: It's my pleasure. [looks over his shoulder and sees Nora's sour look] Well, I see through the glass that Dr. Nora either disagrees with me or has just eaten a bad clam. I'm sure she'll tell us which when the Dr. Nora show begins right after this traffic report from Chopper Dave. He goes off the air, picks up his briefcase and goes into Roz's booth. George also comes in and selects some carts. Nora comes into Frasier's booth and sits down. Roz: O.K., Denise, I've got some numbers for you. Do you have a pen? Frasier: Come on, Roz, hurry up. I'd like to get out of here before her trainer shows up with a bucket of live mice for her pre- show feeding. In the other booth, Nora immediately hits "On-Air." Nora: I'm sorry to cut you off, Chopper Dave, but we have a therapy emergency. Denise, are you still on? Denise: Yes. Frasier: That's my caller! Nora: Denise, I want you to ignore everything Dr. Crane just told you. I know a lot more about mothers that he does, and here is Fact #1: they don't change. Cut this woman out of your life. Frasier: I don't believe this! Denise: You don't think that with counseling— Nora: Denise, when you have a tumor, what do you do? Do you sit it down and say, "Hey, tumor, let's get along, O.K.?" No, you take a knife and cut it out! Well, Denise, your mother is a tumor. My heart bleeds for you, because I have been there, and I know how hard it is to look at your own mother's face and say, "Bye-bye, you toxic harpy! You are not hurting me again!" But that is what you have to do. Frasier angrily picks up the phone in the producer's booth and dials. Denise: I think maybe you're right. Nora: I'm always right. And you know what else? I bet your cake was yummy. God bless, honey. Who's next? George: We have Frasier, from here. Frasier: [over booth phone] How dare you ambush Denise that way? Nora: Oh well, what a surprise. I dare to give one of Frasier's callers a second opinion, and what does Frasier say? She plays a SFX cart of a baby crying. Frasier: Ah, yes, sound effects! The therapist's best friend! You realize what you're doing is completely unprofessional? Denise called my show, she didn't ask for your opinion! Nora: And I didn't ask for yours. [disconnects] Back to you, Chopper Dave. Frasier: She cut me off! [storms into the booth] All right, let's just settle this. We don't like each other. But we're going to have to coexist here. So why don't we agree that I won't criticize you, and you won't criticize me. Do we have a deal? Nora: No. Frasier: No?! Nora: No, I will undermine you every chance I get, because you, Dr. Crane, are a dangerous man! Frasier: I'm dangerous?! Nora: Yes. Seattle's Great Enabler. You tell tramps and fornicators that their problem is low self-esteem. They should have low self-esteem, they're going to hell! Frasier: I take it back! You're not unprofessional — you're a freaking loon! George: Five seconds. Frasier goes back into George's booth and grabs his briefcase. Frasier: All right, if it's war you two want, it's war you'll get! Right, Roz?! Frasier storms out of the booth. Roz: You don't actually buy all this "no sex" stuff of hers, do you? George: Yeah. Roz: Well, it's WAR! Roz storms out of the booth. FADE TO:
"M" IS FOR THE MANY WAYS I'D MAIM HER
Scene Six — Apartment The doorbell rings. Martin opens the door to Niles. Martin: Oh hi, Niles. Niles: Hey, Dad. You probably noticed I shaved my mustache. As Niles comes in, Martin stands puzzled for a moment. Niles: I decided a better way to change my look was to pump some iron. Martin: Ah. So what, you joined a gym? Niles: I certainly did. I start the minute my weight belt gets back from the monogrammer's. Frasier comes out of the hall. Niles: Oh, Frasier, you free for dinner? Frasier: Well, I suppose so, yes. Daphne comes in the door with a basket of laundry, followed by Roz with some files. Daphne: Hey, look who I bumped into in the elevator. Frasier: Roz! Roz: I've been on the phone all day, digging up dirt on Dr. Nora, and you will not believe what I found! Frasier: Really? Roz: I called the station where she used to work, and they couldn't wait to dish her! [opens the file] For starters, she has no medical degree. Frasier: What? Roz: Her doctorate is in Physical Education! Frasier: [ecstatic] She's a GYM TEACHER! Niles: Wouldn't want to be the chubby kid in that gym class. Martin: Or the boy in the monogrammed weight belt. Frasier: Well, this is just dynamite, Roz! Roz: Oh, that's not even half of it. Her name isn't Fairchild, she was born Mulhern, and Little Miss Family Values has two divorces behind her, and an affair with a married man! Frasier: Tomorrow, I am going to drop this little bombshell to start my show, and end hers! Martin: You know, Fras, when I was on the force, I went through a feud like this with Charlie Drucker, and believe me it's not worth it. I started out by making a joke about his chest. Daphne: His chest? Martin: Yeah, he was like a heavyset guy, and he had those, you know, "man-bosoms." So, he heard about it, and he got mad at me, and he wrote something about me on the men's room wall, and I should have just called it quits right there and then. But his name being "Drucker" brought out the poet in me. Then it just got worse and worse, and we both ended up looking like idiots. Frasier: Well, Dad, I don't intend to get into a feud with her. I just want to get her off the air. Niles: Yeah, but if you attack her like that, aren't you just descending to her level? Frasier: You know, Roz, maybe they're right. I mean, look at what this woman has reduced me to already. Trading barbs, yelling over the air. Now I'm spreading rumors about her? Is that anyway for a psychiatrist to deal with conflict? Roz: Don't you wimp out on me! Frasier: Now, Roz, just think about it. There may be a better way. You know, Dr. Nora is clearly a damaged and angry woman. Maybe I could find out what's at the root of that anger, and help her, also proving that my method of therapy is the more valid one. Roz: Why are you doing this to me?! Look, if you have a tumor— Frasier: Roz, stop it! Niles: You know, if you want to analyze her, you might start with that whole mother thing. I caught her show yesterday, and that certainly seemed to be a hot-button issue. Frasier: Yes, it did, didn't it? They've been estranged for years. You know, perhaps we could find the woman and discover what caused this rift between them. Niles: Maybe even effect a reconciliation. Frasier: Of course, it won't be easy. We don't even know if the woman's still alive. Daphne is folding the laundry. Daphne: Yes, all sorts of things could happen to a woman her age. Her mother could have had a heart attack, or a stroke. Frasier: Exactly. Daphne: [continuing merrily] She could be hit by a bus as she's coming out of the pub. Or fall asleep smoking a cigarette and be burned to a crisp right there in her smelly bed! Or she could fall off a ferry and be pulled down under the water, the roar of the waves drowning out her cries for help, until no one could hear that shrill voice of hers, not ever again! [finishes folding the laundry] Well, I'm all done with my darks. She leaves the room, oblivious to the others' stares. FADE TO: Scene Seven - KACL Nora is roasting her latest caller. Nora: Listen to me! You should be shunning this woman, not rewarding her with gifts! [disconnects] A baby shower for an unwed mother? Now I've heard it all. Who's next? In the hall, Roz is watching. Frasier comes up. Frasier: Roz, did her mother get here all right? Roz: Yes, but I'm begging you! We could drive a stake through that thing's heart right now! Frasier pushes her down the hallway. Frasier: Roz, Roz, please trust me, my way is better. Get in here. They come into a waiting room, where an elderly woman is seated. [N.B. Piper Laurie played a guest caller in [1.13], "Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast."] Frasier: Ah, Mrs. Mulhern. I'm Dr. Frasier Crane, it's such a pleasure to meet you. Mulhern: Oh, Dr. Crane, I can't thank you enough for finding me and bringing me here. Frasier: Well, I was so moved by your story. It's a joy to do this for you. Mulhern: For twenty years I wondered where my little girl was, and if I'd ever see her again. Roz: What did you two fight about to begin with? Mulhern: Oh, I blame myself. I thought the man she wanted to marry wasn't good enough for her, so she eloped. And I've been so afraid the emphysema would finish me before I could ask her forgiveness and tell her I love her. Frasier: [nearly in tears] Well, tell her you shall. Roz? Frasier goes into the producer's booth and picks up the phone: Nora: Forget couples' therapy, Allison. He is a loser! If you don't drop him right now, you deserve every bit of misery you get! God bless, honey. Who's next? George: We have Frasier Crane on line one. Nora: Frasier, you want to yell at me for that last call? Frasier: No, although I do believe that a gifted therapist can help two people put aside their anger and heal the differences between them. Nora: Blah, blah, blah. Frasier: I have someone here with me today, someone you haven't seen for quite a while. There's something she'd like to tell you, something she's wanted to tell you for a very, very long time. Roz shows Mrs. Mulhern in. Frasier lowers the receiver so Nora doesn't hear him say: Frasier: Mrs. Mulhern? Mrs. Mulhern goes into the radio booth and stands behind Nora. Mulhern: You little whore! Four sets of jaws drop — Frasier's, Roz's, George's, and Nora's. Nora: MOTHER! Mulhern: So, you thought you could get away from me, did you? Thought you could leave me to rot in that dump without barely enough cash for a bottle of Mateus! You'll pay for that, missy! Roz: [jumping for joy] I was wrong, Frasier! Your way IS better! Frasier tries to enter the booth. Frasier: Mrs. Mulhern— Mulhern: [shoves him out and locks the door] Keep out of this! Nora: M-Mother, please! I am doing my show! Mulhern: Yes, you're Little Miss Perfect now, aren't you? Telling everybody else how wicked they are! They should hear about your past! Frasier tries to enter through the other door. Frasier: Mrs. Mulhern, please! She shoves him out and locks the other door. Mulhern: The shame you brought on me, you ungrateful tramp! Nora: [crying] Mother, please, I'm a good girl now. Mulhern: How you were paid — paid! — to leave town, by that nice boy's family. Frasier: For God's sake, Nora, go to commercial! Nora: There, Seattle, now you know what I mean when I say there are some people you just don't need in your life! [goes to commercial] Help me out, George! She throws off her headphones and rushes into the producer's booth. Mulhern: What are they paying you here? I want my cut! George closes the door and fights to hold it shut. Nora: I knew that you hated me, but I just can't believe you could be so cruel! Frasier: I was trying to help! She seemed delightful on the phone! Mulhern: [knocking on the glass] I want fifty dollars right now! Nora: HOW MANY TIMES WILL I HAVE TO MOVE BEFORE I'M FINALLY FREE OF HER?! She runs out into the hallway. Mrs. Mulhern goes out the other door to head her off. Frasier: [yelling after her] Nora, I'm sorry! Mulhern: [yelling after her] You owe me, missy! I gave you life! Nora screams like a madwoman. George runs out after them. Roz: Frasier, we've got dead air! Frasier goes into the radio booth. Roz shuts the doors and grabs some carts. Frasier: [hits "On Air"] Hello, this is Dr. Frasier Crane. I'm sure Dr. Nora's listeners join me in hoping she and her mother can resolve these differences very soon. They're off to a bit of a bumpy start— Nora screams again as the chase takes them by the booth. Frasier: But... at least the lines of communication are open! Another scream comes, louder and clearly audible over the air. Frasier can only gape at Roz. Credits: Daphne is tenderizing a steak with a mallet and talking on the phone with her mother. She tries to protest, but can't get a word in edgewise, so she just listens, nodding. As soon as she hangs up, she goes radge on the steak, pounding the stuffing out of it.

Guest Appearances

 Special Guest Stars
 CHRISTINE BARANSKI as Dr. Nora
 PIPER LAURIE as Mrs. Mulhern
 
 Guest Starring
 TOM McGOWAN as Kenny
 DOUGLAS OWEN McDONALD as George

 Guest Callers
 GILLIAN ANDERSON as Jenny
 YO-YO MA as Tom
 BONNIE RAITT as Denise
 PIA ZADORA as Jill

Synopsis {kathy churay}


ACT ONE

Scene One - Cafe Nervosa

Frasier is seated at a table and a man is just leaving as Niles comes
over to Frasier's table with his coffee.  Niles is amazed to notice 
that the man is Dr. Gordon Edelstein, whom Niles admires for his 
authorship of a book about obsessive-compulsive disorders.  Frasier 
tells Niles that he is interviewing therapists for an available radio 
slot at KACL -- the station is hiring another call-in psychiatrist 
for a one-week trial period, and Frasier has been asked to choose 
among the finalists.  Niles sits down, but Frasier warns him he has 
another interviewee coming in a few minutes.   Niles marvels at 
Frasier's positive attitude about something that could be perceived 
as a threat to his position, but Frasier is flattered that the 
station wants even more of what he has to offer.

Niles asks Frasier for his opinion on his "raffish new look."  He 
says he is taking Frasier's advice to accept Daphne's relationship 
with Donny and find himself a girlfriend, so he has taken the first 
step.  Frasier pretends at first but finally admits he can't identify 
what's different about Niles, till Niles informs him that he is 
growing a (quite invisible) mustache.   

Dr. Nora Fairchild comes into the cafe and introduces herself to 
Frasier, bowling him over with compliment after compliment.  He 
introduces her to Niles, whom she says must be very proud of his "kid 
brother," the radio star.  Niles, ever sure of Frasier's vanity, 
congratulates Dr. Nora on her new job at KACL as he takes his leave.


Scene Two - The Radio Studio

Dr. Nora reports for her first day at KACL, escorted by Kenny the 
station manager and her good-looking producer, George.  Frasier gives 
her a warm welcome and Roz is quite taken with George.  She pulls him 
by the hand into her control booth, offering to "give him the lay of 
the land." Frasier wishes Nora luck and exits to the hall, where he  
meets Roz.  They watch Dr. Nora setting up for her show and Frasier 
is rhapsodizing about how thrilling it is to have a protege.  Roz is 
predictably nauseated by Frasier's ego.

Dr. Nora is polished and professional as she listens to her first 
caller, Jenny, who is having trouble with her live-in boyfriend.  
Frasier and Roz drift off down the hall as Frasier realizes Nora has 
the situation well in hand.  They come running back, however, as Nora 
neatly summarizes Jenny's trouble:  Jenny is a whore because she has 
sex with her boyfriend without being married.  Frasier and Roz watch 
and listen in astonishment from outside the booth as Nora advises 
Jenny to staple her knees together until she and her boyfriend are 
married.  An amazed crowd of station workers begins to gather outside 
the booth as Roz dryly notes to Frasier that Dr. Nora seems to have 
gotten over her nervousness quite nicely.


Scene Three - Frasier's Kitchen

Daphne is drying dishes as Niles tries to get her to notice his 
mustache. Daphne thinks he's fishing for compliments about his suit, 
then tries to wipe away what she thinks is food on his upper lip.  He 
informs her it's a mustache, and she says it reminds her of her 
Grammy Moon -- or will, once it's grown in.  

Frasier arrives home and demands that Daphne turn on KACL i
immediately.  She does, and Dr. Nora is abusing a woman who wants a 
divorce from her husband because he's gay.  Frasier turns the radio 
off in disgust.  Niles remarks on Nora's harshness, but Martin feels 
her old-fashioned view of morality is refreshing.  Daphne and Martin 
had been listening to Dr. Nora while doing his exercises.  Daphne 
agrees with Martin -- Nora reminds Daphne of her mother, and Daphne 
goes off to call Mum.

Frasier is still complaining about Dr. Nora.  He plans to have a word
with her at the station the next day -- tell her to soften her 
approach before she alienates her audience.  After all, he says, 
people know the difference between constructive criticism and 
outright abuse.  And Daphne comes walking through with the portable 
phone on her way to the kitchen, laughing gaily at her mother, who 
wants to know whether Daphne's boyfriend hasn't found someone 
prettier and smarter yet.


ACT TWO

Scene One - The Radio Studio

Frasier is wrapping up his show as Dr. Nora arrives.  He greets her
frostily and is about to deliver some diplomatic criticism when Roz
weighs in with the blunt, name-calling approach, defending the honor 
of a single mother who called the day before only to be abused by Dr. 
Nora.   Dr. Nora retorts that she would expect Roz to defend the 
woman, the way Roz pounced on Nora's producer the day before.  
Frasier has to physically restrain Roz, who wants to fight Nora and 
offers to "take it out on the street."  When Nora tells Roz the 
street is Roz's home territory, it's all Frasier can do to keep Roz 
from killing her.  He pushes Roz out of the booth and turns on Nora.  

He begins taking Nora to task for her unhelpful, moralistic 
criticisms of her callers, but Nora will have none of it.  She defies 
Frasier to admit that he hired her because he hoped to sleep with 
her.  He hotly denies it and tells her that she is at KACL on his 
recommendation, which he is now withdrawing.  Just then Kenny enters 
with the news that Dr. Nora's show is a hit.  Some people love her 
and some her, but everyone seems to be listening.  Frasier follows 
Kenny out to the hall to plead his case, but as Kenny says, "Ratings 
are ratings."  Meanwhile Nora's caller Tom is asking what he can do 
about a co-worker who's driving him crazy.  Smirking at Frasier 
through the glass, Nora replies, "Not one damn thing."


Scene Two - The Radio Studio - The Next Day

Frasier and Roz listen sympathetically his caller Denise recounts her
troubles with her verbally abusive mother, as Dr. Nora watches 
through the window.  Frasier advises Denise to seek counseling, 
telling her to stay on the line so that Roz can give her the numbers 
of some therapists. Frasier ends the show and goes in to talk with 
Roz as Dr. Nora sits down at her console.  Abruptly, Nora gets Denise 
back on the line [and on the air], telling her to ignore everything 
Frasier has told her.  Nora tells Denise wrenchingly that in her 
personal experience the only thing to do with an abusive mother is to 
cut her out of your life like a tumor. And she disconnects Denise.

George connects Nora's next caller -- who is Frasier, calling from 
the control booth.   He takes her to task on the air for her 
unprofessional behavior, but Nora disconnects him and goes back to 
Chopper Dave for the traffic report.  Frasier hangs up and storms 
into the booth to have it out with Nora.  He tells her tersely that 
they must agree not to criticize one another on the air, but Nora 
won't agree.  She won't "enable" callers who are behaving immorally 
because they don't need better self-esteem.  Their problem is that 
they are going to Hell for their behavior!  Frasier storms out, 
vowing to make war on Dr. Nora.  Roz hangs back trying to sweet-talk 
George, but when he tells her he believes in Dr. Nora's no-sex 
stance, Roz agrees -- it's war!


Scene Three - Frasier's Living Room

Niles arrives, declaring to Martin that he has shaved his mustache 
and has decided to change his look by pumping iron.  Martin is 
approving, if puzzled by the reported disappearance of a mustache 
he'd never noticed in the first place.   Daphne comes in from the 
laundry room followed by Roz, whom she's met in the hall.  Roz can't 
wait to tell Frasier about the dirt she dug up on Dr. Nora from her 
former colleagues at another station.  Apparently Dr. Nora's degree 
is in physical education, not psychology, and she's had two divorces 
and an affair with a married man.  Frasier is elated.

Martin tells a story about a feud he had with another officer on the
force, and cautions him against ending up looking like an idiot.  
Frasier realizes he is right and as a psychiatrist he should have a 
better method of resolving conflict.  Roz is infuriated at Frasier 
for wimping out on her, but Niles encourages Frasier to begin by 
analyzing Dr. Nora's obviously troubled relationship with her 
estranged mother.  They speculate on whether Nora's mother is still 
alive, prompting Daphne to begin fantasizing happily and at length 
about the many awful ways a woman of that age could have died.  
Frasier and Niles are fascinated at what's she's revealing about 
herself as Daphne finishes folding the laundry and goes merrily off 
to her room.  


Scene Four - The Radio Station - The Next Day

Dr. Nora is at it again, marveling to her audience about the 
unsuitably of giving a baby shower for an unwed mother.  Meanwhile, 
Roz is frothing at the mouth in the hallway as Frasier arrives, 
asking whether Nora's mother is has made it to the studio.  They go 
out to the lobby to greet Nora's mother, Mrs. Mulherne [Piper 
Laurie], who tells them that the reason she and Nora were estranged 
was her disapproval of the man Nora wanted to marry.  Frasier is 
touched and vows she will have the chance to tell Nora how much she 
loves her.  

Frasier returns to the control room and dials Dr. Nora again, forcing
George to put him on the air.  Nora asks cynically whether Frasier 
wants to yell at her, but Frasier tells her that there is someone 
who's wanted to say something to Nora for a very long time.  Mrs. 
Mulherne enters the studio and delivers her message to Nora -- "You 
little whore!"  And she's off on a diatribe about Nora's cheapness in 
refusing to give her enough cash for even a cheap bottle of wine.  

Frasier is aghast as Mrs. Mulherne locks everyone else out of the 
studio and Roz is overcome with joy as Dr. Nora is reduced to tears 
by her mother's abuse and demands for money from Nora.  Nora escapes 
to the control booth and locks her mother into the studio.  She turns 
on Frasier and tells him she can't believe his cruelty.  Frasier is 
guilt-stricken -- "She seemed delightful on the phone!"  Nora flees 
screaming into the hallway, pursued by a ranting Mrs. Mulherne, as 
Frasier frantically takes over the mike for the remainder of Nora's 
show.  


Credits:

In Frasier's kitchen Daphne is on the phone with her mother while 
pounding a steak with a mallet to tenderize it.  She gets more and 
more impatient with her mother, and after hanging up, attacks the 
steak violently with the mallet.


Legal Stuff


 This episode capsule is copyright 1999 by Kathy Churay & Nick
 Hartley. This episode summary remains property of Frasier, Copyright
 of Paramount Productions and NBC. Printed without permission. 

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