[10.12] The Harassed


The Harassed                                  Written by Chris Marcil 
                                           Directed by Kelsey Grammer 
=====================================================================
Production Code: 10.12
Episode Number In Production Order: 230
Original Airdate on NBC: January 14, 2003
Transcript written on February 17, 2003

Julia Wilcox Episodes

[10.12] The Harassed
[10.15] Trophy Girlfriend
[10.16] Fraternal Schwinns
[10.20] Farewell Nervosa

Transcript {Kelly Dean Hansen}

Skyline: Radio waves emanante from the top of the Space Needle.

ACT I

[Scene 1 - KACL.
Frasier is finishing a segment.]

Frasier: We'll be right back with Julia Wilcox and our new stock market
         update after this. 

[He exits the air and removes his phones.  Kenny enters.]

  Kenny: That's it?  That's your big introduction for Julia?  What
         happened to the copy I wrote for you?
Frasier: [looking at the copy] Kenny, come on.  "Julia" does not rhyme
         with "moolah."
  Kenny: [shrugging] We'll, they're spelled the same.
Frasier: Oh, they are not, stop it.  Isn't it enough that she's getting
         ten minutes of my show?
  Kenny: Hey, hey.  We're lucky to have her. [Roz enters from her booth.]
         Don't be surprised if she ends up boosting your ratings a notch.
Frasier: Yes, but at what cost?  The woman's credibility is questionable.
  Kenny: She's credible.  The woman was on CNBC.  She had a syndicated
         column.  You can't hold one mistake against her.
    Roz: What'd she do?
Frasier: She wrote a book called Day Trade Your Way Out of Debt.
         Apparently, some people lost money.
  Kenny: I don't see you writing any books.  Now listen, she's a little
         sensitive, so I don't want to hear anyone talking about the book,
         how it ruined her career, that guy who killed himself in 
         Pennsylva... hey, hey, hey!  There she is!  Our financial wizard.

[Julia has entered at the obvious moment.  She is tall, blonde, slim,
smartly dressed, and has an immediately apparent air of haughtiness
and superiority.]

  Kenny: This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
  Julia: Hello. [shakes Frasier's hand]
  Kenny: His producer, Roz Doyle.
    Roz: Hi.
  Julia: Nice to meet you.  So this is my mike?
Frasier: [with Roz] Yes.
    Roz: [breaking the ice] You know, I studied finance in college.
  Julia: Hey, that's great.  Can you get me some coffee, Rizzo?

[Frasier and Roz are both taken aback by this.]

  Roz: It's Roz.
Julia: Super.  Two creams.  Thanks.

[Kenny gestures to Roz to comply.]

  Kenny: So, um, do your intro, we'll do a promo, and then back to you.
         Got it?  Intro, promo, you.
  Julia: [with biting sarcasm] So, you don't want me to do the intro last?
  Kenny: Uh, no, because you see, "Intro" is short for... [realizing] Oh,
         oh, oh, I get it!

[Kenny makes a playful teasing gesture to Julia.  She plays along, but
with obvious disdain for him.]

  Kenny: Very good!  You got one past me.  Enjoy it.  It's not going to
         happen again. 

[He exits.]

  Julia: And these would be my phones.
Frasier: Yes, yes.  I must say that I enjoyed your work on CNBC.  I
         thought that you were an insightful analyst, and I don't
         believe that you were treated fairly.
  Julia: [insincerely] Thanks.  That makes everything all better.
    Roz: [entering with the coffee] Ten seconds.
  Julia: [taking the coffee] Thanks. [drinking and coughing] Mmm.
         You call this coffee?
    Roz: [smiling] Most of it.
Frasier: [laughing uncomfortably] That Roz... Let me put that over there.
         [He distances the "coffee" from Julia, and puts on his phones.]
         Hello, Seattle.  Welcome back!  If you've tuned in for mental
         health advice with an erudite twist, well then, my show will
         be back up at the top of the hour. [During the course of the
         following speech, Julia is leaning toward the microphone,
         impatiently trying to find a spot to break in.] And now, for
         something new, yet germane, as finances can be the cause of
         that old bugaboo, stress, here now...
  Julia: [cutting in abruptly] Good afternoon, I'm Julia Wilcox.
         Today's market swerved like a nervous student driver before
         finally winding up in a nice, safe neutral.  We'll discuss.
         Plus, are pharmaceutical stocks still worth prescribing?
         Now this. [She cuts to the promo.  Frasier has looked around
         incredulously during the course of her speech.]
Frasier: Excuse me.  Uh, I was supposed to introduce you.
  Julia: You were cutting into my time.
Frasier: Well, I was giving you an hospitable segue.  You see, I thought
         that since you're new here, I could lend you my equity, if you
         will.  It was just a courtesy...
  Julia: [breaking in again as the promo ends] Some days on the market,
         it's black Friday, but today, with the NASDAQ slightly down, and
         the Dow slightly up, it was more like "plaid Monday."  Analysts
         spoke out on both sides...

[In the course of the preceding, Frasier has risen and exited into
the hall.]

Frasier: [to himself, indignantly] Next time, I'll get the coffee.

[He stares into the studio from the hall.  Fade out.]

[Scene 2 — Café Nervosa
Roz is seated with a book.  Kenny enters.]

  Kenny: Hey, Roz.  What 'ya reading?
    Roz: Julia's book.  Listen to this.  "Chapter 4: How to Sell Your
         House and Start a Dot.com."

[Frasier enters.]

Frasier: Hey guys.  Oh, Roz, I can't believe you shelled out three
         dollars to revel in someone else's misfortune.
    Roz: I was curious.
Frasier: Well, you can get the same thing on tape for a buck-fifty.
         [taking a seat] Get this: it's read by Martha Stewart!  How's
         that for your double whammy?

[They all laugh.]

    Roz: We should just get rid of her.  I mean, if she were nice, it'd
         be one thing, but she's just rude and arrogant.
  Kenny: Whoa, whoa, nobody's getting rid of anybody.  She just filed
         suit against CNBC for wrongful termination.  Legal wants us to
         treat her with kid gloves.
Frasier: Hmm.  Truth be told, I actually feel sorry for her.  She has
         suffered a very public fall.  She must be carrying all kinds
         of guilt about the people who lost their savings following
         her advice.  You know, perhaps I should have a talk with her.
    Roz: I wondered how long it would take.
Frasier: What?
    Roz: For you to make your move.
  Kenny: Hey, I thought there were some sparks between you two.
Frasier: What are you talking about?
    Roz: Don't play innocent.  She is right up your alley.  Smart,
         tough, total bitch.  You can't wait to break through that
         wall and rescue her.
Frasier: Oh, Roz, you couldn't be more off the mark.
    Roz: Typical man.  You always want to get in there and rescue us,
         but the minute things get messy, you just can't handle it.
  Kenny: Ha!  Women want us to think that they're tough, and then all
         of a sudden, they get needy.
    Roz: Men are like, "Come on baby, you can lean on me, oops, gotta
         go."
  Kenny: Yeah, women are like "Get away, get away.  Don't leave me!"
    Roz: [becoming caught in the heat of the exchange] Here's men:
         [she groans disgustingly]
  Kenny: Here's women: Me, me, me, me, me... 

[He continues the "helpless" squeal, overlapping with Roz's groaning.]

Frasier: All right, stop it, both of you!

[Niles enters.]

  Niles: Hello, all.
Frasier: Hello, Niles.
  Niles: How's it going?
Frasier: Oh, we're just discussing a new, rather unpleasant colleague of
         ours.  Be thankful you're self-employed.  You don't have to deal
         with these headaches.
  Niles: Oh, not so.  I was hoping to come here and complain about my
         office remodel.  I'm annexing the dermatologist's office next
         door, and in a cheap irony, my skin is breaking out.
Frasier: Your spackle allergy again?
  Niles: I'm covered with tiny bumps.  It's worse than the summer we
         added the breakfast nook to the tree house.
Frasier: Hmmm.
  Niles: [to an approaching waiter] Could I have my usual, please?
         Thank you.

[Julia has now entered and approaches the counter.]

    Roz: There she is!  Don't come over, don't come over, don't
         come over. [Julia sits at a distant table.] Oh... look who's
         too good for us!
Frasier: You know what?  I think I will go and offer her an olive branch.

[Roz and Kenny again begin the "low groan" and "helpless squeal."]

Frasier: Oh, stop it.  Knock it off.

[Frasier approaches Julia and sits at her table.]

Frasier: Hello, Julia.
  Julia: Hello.
Frasier: Listen, I, uh... I'm sorry the two of us got off to a bit of a
         frosty start, but, uh, I think that in time we will have a very
         long and rewarding relationship.
  Julia: [dismissively] Okay. 

[She returns to what she was doing, intending to send Frasier a "signal."]

Frasier: May I tell you a story?

[Julia sighs, but feigns interest.]

Frasier: Years ago, I lived in Boston.  I was in private practice then
         and my life was very good.  And then my wife left me.  I ended
         up on a ledge, threatening to-to throw myself off if she didn't
         return to me.

[The waiter brings Julia's coffee.  She is only half listening to Frasier.]

  Julia: Thank you.
Frasier: Well, this got on the news, of course, and needless to say,
         after that, patients were a little hard to come by.  So... I
         just wanted you to know that I too have suffered a very
         public setback.
  Julia: [sarcastically] Oh, I get it.  You're letting me know I'm not
         alone.
Frasier: Exactly.
  Julia: [disdainfully] And now we can be friends.
Frasier: [smiling, not picking up her signals] Well, if that's how
         you feel.
  Julia: Let's see, how do I feel?  Well, it's sort of like on your
         show when you call people at home to give them advice.
Frasier: [not recognizing the sarcasm] Well, actually, I don't call
         them, they call me.
  Julia: [bitingly] Exactly! 

[She grins evilly at him and goes back to her coffee.]

Frasier: [rising, attempting to preserve some dignity] Well.  Good
         day, then.

[Fade out.]

[Scene 3 - Frasier's apartment.
Daphne and Martin are seated at the dinner table over breakfast.]

 Martin: Why would you let Niles bring all his patients to your home?
 Daphne: It's only a couple more weeks until his office is finished.
 Martin: Well, I sure wouldn't want to have all those crazies over.  I
         mean, what if one of them starts screaming obscenities or
         running through the house naked.
 Daphne: Mum already did that when England lost in the World Cup.

[Frasier and Niles enter and hang up their coats.]

  Niles: Hello all.
 Martin: Hey.
 Daphne: Hello.  How was the Wine Expo?
Frasier: Horrible!
  Niles: Frasier ran into a fan.
 Martin: Ow, that smarts!
Frasier: Yes, Dad.  You have been using that same old joke for the last
         ten years.  So, anyway, I ran into this fan...
 Martin: Ouch!  Are you okay?

[Frasier glares at him.  He pours some wine glasses.]

Frasier: So this woman complimented me on my so-called chemistry with
         that harpy Julia.  Have you ever heard anything more preposterous?
         Good Lord!  The woman sneezed once, and I said "Bless you."
         That has been the extent of our byplay.
 Daphne: You've been complaining about her so much lately.  I'm beginning
         to wonder if there's not something deeper there.
Frasier: I will not even dignify that with a response. [pausing, handing
         Niles a wine glass] Except to say that you couldn't be more
         wrong.
  Niles: I don't know, Frasier, she's certainly attractive.  And she's
         intelligent, ambitious, tenacious...
 Daphne: Sounds like your perfect woman.
Frasier: She is a cold, insufferable know-it-all!
 Daphne: And the list goes on and on.
Frasier: [sitting] All right, that's it.  No more talking about Julia.
 Daphne: [teasing, approaching Frasier] Ooh, so it's "Julia" now!

[Niles and Martin respond with similar "Ooh's.]

Frasier: It has always been "Julia."  That is her name.
  Niles: She does seem to have you disproportionately upset.  You
         haven't been so consumed with one subject since Frasier Crane
         Day.
Frasier: Listen, my outrage is completely merited.  That woman is
         deliberately trying to undermine my show from within.  I'm
         sorry to disappoint all of you, but I have absolutely no
         feelings for that woman except contempt.
 Martin: There he goes again.  You know what they say about people who
         protest too much?
Frasier: I know what you used to say: "They should all be tear-gassed!"

[Frasier exits angrily toward his room.  Martin frowns philosophically.]

 Martin: I still think that, you know.

[Fade out.]

[Scene 4 - A conference room at KACL.
Julia is seated at a table.  Frasier enters.]

Frasier: Ah, here you are.  Listen... it's time the two of us had it out.
         Ever since you arrived here, you have been nothing but
         condescending and dismissive.
  Julia: Whatever.
Frasier: There, you did it again.
  Julia: You know what this is really about.  It's about you losing
         fifteen minutes from your precious show.
Frasier: What are you talking about?  It's ten minutes.
  Julia: Sorry, starting Monday I do the last fifteen minutes of your
         show with a half-hour recap on Fridays.  Now, if you'll excuse
         me, I have places to be. [She begins to put away her papers.]
Frasier: No, I will not excuse you.  I am reaching out to you here.
  Julia: Yeah, will you cut that out?  It's like you're trying to make
         me your special project.  Why don't you just adopt a cat or
         something?
Frasier: [seething] As your colleague, I do not deserve to be treated
         this way.
  Julia: Oh, no.  We are hardly "colleagues."  I deliver the news and
         you're a... Magic Eight Ball with a Harvard degree. [She rises.]
Frasier: [rising, horrified and deeply offended] I will not be belittled
         by a half-educated, money-grubbing parvenu!
  Julia: As opposed to some foreign-speaking windbag?
Frasier: That makes you an insecure fraud!
  Julia: You are a pompous blowhard!

[At this point, Kenny is visible looking inside the window of the door.]

Frasier: Harridan!
  Julia: Know-it-all!
Frasier: Shrew!
  Julia: Snob!
Frasier: [lightly grabbing her arms] Are you as turned on as I am?
  Julia: [visibly shocked] What?!  Oh!! [throwing off his hands] Did
         you just come on to me?
Frasier: What?  No... No... I thought... I thought that you... [He is
         deeply embarrassed and at a loss for words.]
  Julia: Oh!  How could you think I was turned on?  What, are you sick?

[Kenny rushes in the room.]

  Kenny: Hey, hey, hey, hey!  Let's all calm down here. [To Frasier]
         Are you crazy?
Frasier: I apologized!  I... I...
  Julia: [leaving the room, utterly disgusted] Blech!!

[Kenny stares at Frasier and gestures as if to say "Now, what?"  Fade out.]

[NB: This exchange pays a tongue-in-cheek homage to two very famous
events in Frasier/Cheers lore.  

When Sam and Diane first came together on "Cheers," they were engaged in 
a heated argument with explosive passions.  Sam asked the same question 
as Frasier, and Diane responded with "More!"  Their first intensely 
passionate kiss followed.  

The scene is also overtly reminiscent of the Season Three episode 
[3.06] "Sleeping With the Enemy", where a very similar argument at 
the station between Frasier and Kate Costas ended with a very 
different outcome.]

END OF ACT I
ACT II

[Scene 5 - KACL hallway.
Frasier approaches a group including Noel and Gil.]

Frasier: Hi, guys!

[All except Noel turn up their chins and walk away.]

 Noel: Oh, hi, Dr. Crane...!

[He is interrupted by Gil, who grabs him.  Noel joins the snubbing
and walks away, leaving Frasier with Kenny.]

Frasier: They hate me, don't they?
  Kenny: Can you blame them?  Because of you, they have to come in here
         for this sexual harassment seminar.
Frasier: [sighing] I know.  I have apologized till I'm blue in the face.
  Kenny: I know.  But Legal wants us covered in case Julia tries to come
         after us.  Maybe you've heard: she loves suing people's asses
         off.  I'm going to miss saying "asses."  After today, I guess
         it's back to "patootie."  Thanks a lot, Doc.

[They enter a seminar room, where the group leader is seated at a table
covered with brochures.]

Van: Hi, welcome.  Please take a workbook.

[Frasier does so, sighing wearily.  Others now enter.  Frasier sits next
to Roz.]

    Roz: Hey, Frasier!  Thanks for ruining my weekend.
Frasier: Oh, Roz... come on, you know it was just a mistake.  What do
         you think I am, some kind of disgusting Lothario?
Bulldog: [entering on cue] Hey, there's my man!
    Van: Welcome.  Please take a workbook.
Bulldog: [pulling one from his pocket] Got an old one. [approaching
         Frasier] Hey!  I know you're down.  Don't sweat it.  Rookie
         mistake.  By the way, the chick at the coffee table's got
         her high beams on. [He barks.]

[Julia enters, grabs the workbook, and pauses to glare at Frasier.  She
takes a seat next to Bulldog, who ogles her with a grin.  Julia glares
back at him.  Kenny goes to the front of the group.]

  Kenny: Okay, people let's get this started. Uh, first of all, I
         apologize for bringing everyone in here today, but uh, to
         make it up to you, everybody attending today will get a free
         mouse pad.  How's that?
    Roz: It sucks!
  Kenny: All right, who said that?
    Roz: I did!
  Kenny: Fair enough.  Now, I don't want to blame anyone...

[At this point, Bulldog sneezes out a name while covering his mouth.
The captions say that he sneezes "Julia," but I am quite sure that it
is actually "Frasier" that Bulldog says and means.  Julia again glares
at him.]

  Kenny: ...but Legal says that we have to do this, so here's Van Andrews
         from Harassment Solutions.

[Van, a balding, Noel-like individual, takes his place before the group.]

    Van: Okay, guys.  I'm Van.  I'll be your facilitator, and if you could
         just open up your workbooks, we'll get started on building a
         truly gender-neutral workplace, okay?  Now, who wants to meet my
         puppets?

[He pulls out two hand dolls dressed in "workplace attire," male and female.
Everyone groans.  Gil stares angrily at Frasier.  He makes a poorly-formed
fist and hits his other hand with it.  Frasier is not sure how to react.
Fade out.]

THERE'S A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE
[Scene 6 - Niles's apartment. He is in a therapy session with Steve, a patient.] Steve: Wow, this is great! I like coming over to your house. It's really nice. Niles: Thanks. Steve: So, maybe you could come over to my house next week, since we're doing stuff at each other's houses now. Niles: Uh, thanks for the offer, Steve, but this isn't a social call. We're having our regular session. I really want this to feel just like the office. Steve: Okay, uh, well, I've been having my dream again... [He is interrupted by a knock.] Niles: Yes? [A plumber enters.] Plumber: Sorry to interrupt, Dr. Crane, but I've got to run these toilet fixtures past you. Your wife said you'd definitely want to be consulted about that. Steve: I never pictured you having a bathroom! Niles: [becoming visibly uncomfortable] Uh, it isn't a good time. [Daphne enters.] Daphne: I'm sorry, I didn't realize your session had begun. [to the plumber] Why don't you just start in the living room? Plumber: Okay, but just so you know, the heated seat you want's on back order [he exits]. Daphne: Again, I'm sorry, Niles, but while I have you here, do you want anything from the shops? Niles: No, I'm good. Daphne: Okay, then, I'm off. [She smiles at Steve.] Happy therapy! [As she exits, she looks at Steve suspiciously.] Niles: [clearing his throat] So, back to your dream... Steve: Your wife seems nice. She's foreign. That's weird. But then I guess it shouldn't be. I mean it only makes sense that you have a wife, and a bathroom, and you probably have a bed and laundry and that thing I can't talk about. Niles: Refrigerator. Steve: Right. Niles: Okay, well, we're not really here to learn about my life, we're here to talk about you, so back to your dream. Steve: Okay, um, well, I'm in this forest... [The telephone rings.] Steve: Do you want to get that, or...? Niles: No, nope it's okay, the machine will get it. Now remember, as we discussed, the forest could be a symbol of uncharted territory. It could be... [The machine now answers the phone. The answering message plays. In it, Niles and Daphne, to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, sing: "Nobody's home. Nobody's home. Nobody's home, nobody's home, nobody's home. Nobody's home, nobody's home, nobody's home. We'll call you back if you leave your number after you hear the..." The recording beep then sounds. Niles, giving up, cues the beep with his hand. Steve is delighted with the message.] Niles: [smiling uncomfortably] So, um, next week at your place! [Fade out.] [Scene 7 - KACL conference room. The seminar is well underway. Bulldog and Roz are seated facing each other at the front.] Van: Okay, Bulldog, in this exercise we're going to pretend that you have an attraction to Roz. Is that okay? Bulldog: [playing along] Well, Van, I feel a little uncomfortable about violating her personal space, even for role playing, but... okay. [He winks at Frasier, who reacts knowingly.] Van: Okay, Roz. Roz: [with a deep voice, making a gesture] Bring it on! Van: Okay, go! Bulldog: Good morning, Roz. You're looking professional today. Roz: Thank you, Bulldog, you're looking professional today also. Bulldog: Thank you. After work, would you care to join me for a coffee or non-stimulating beverage? Please note that you retain the option to say no. Van: Excellent, Bulldog. Roz? Roz: Thank you, Bulldog, for your offer, but I'm uncomfortable with it, as I would prefer to cut my own arm off and eat it. Noel: [rising] Can I have a turn with her? Bulldog: Nope, sorry buddy. Noel: She's not your property. It's up to Van! I want a turn! Bulldog: Sit down, Noel. [Noel approaches him.] Oh, what are you going to do, huh? What are you going to do? [Noel confronts Bulldog as menacingly as he can.] Van: Guys, guys, let's keep our dialogue constructive, okay. I think we're done here. Bulldog: Oh, great. Van: Why don't you go ahead and... have a seat. [Bulldog, Noel, and Roz return to their seats. Gil raises his hand.] Gil: Um, I'd like to say something. Van: Okay, go ahead, Gil. [Gil rises and moves to the front. He speaks after a dramatic pause.] Gil: From the bottom of my heart, I apologize for my wandering eye over the years. Those whom I mentally undressed, and... you know who you are... [a man and woman look at each other; it is clear that no person of either gender really knows whether or not Gil has mentally undressed them] ...all I can say - and it's a poor defense - is that I was a product of the thoughtless machismo of my times. Van: Thank you, Gil. Gil: But know this: Gil isn't about to stop loving the ladies. [Frasier and Roz exchange a look.] Van: Thank you, Gil. I think they like to be called "women" now. Gil: Huh. Do they ever! [Gil returns to his seat. Frasier stares at him incredulously. His patience has run out.] Frasier: How much longer do we have to sit for this nonsense? Van: Well, Frasier, since you're the one who brought us here today, maybe you'd like to take a turn in the warm seat, hmm? [Frasier reluctantly rises.] Van: Julia, would you be comfortable in helping Frasier learn how he could have related to you in a more office-appropriate manner? [Julia is staring down, paying no attention.] Uh, Julia? Noel: [rising] She's playing solitaire on her palm pilot, Van. Julia: Oh, all right. [She stares at Noel and takes a seat opposite Frasier.] Van: Okay, in this "no-fault" rewind, let's find out how Frasier assaulted you. Frasier: I did not assault her. I simply expressed unhappiness that she was taking fifteen minutes from my show. She responded by belittling my profession. Julia: [deadpan] And then he called me a couple of names and asked if I was turned on. Van: Okay, gang, where did Frasier go wrong? [Everybody eagerly raises their hands, murmuring and snapping fingers.] Van: Uh, Bulldog? Bulldog: People stopped saying "turned on" twenty years ago. [N.B.: Another inside reference to the "Cheers" exchange, which really did take place about twenty years ago.] Frasier: [after everybody again eagerly raises their hands] No, look, look! I just misread her... her signals. I thought that her hostility was displaced attraction. Julia: No, it was just hostility. Frasier: Well, of course it was, that's all there is to you. Ever since you arrived at this station we have reached out to you in friendship and all we've gotten in return is arrogance and unbridled rudeness. Julia: It's not rudeness, it's indifference. I'm sorry I'm not joining your bowling team, but this is just a pit stop for me. I do not intend on spending the rest of my life at a station that cuts out whenever the janitor vacuums! [Roz is clearly somewhat hurt by this comment, as is everyone else.] Julia: No offense! Kenny: [smiling stupidly] None taken. Julia: And I don't even know why we're here. I'm not going to sue your stupid station, I mean, how pathetic would that look? Frasier: [rising angrily] How dare you? At KACL, we are a family. Every person in this room respects one another... Kenny: No, no, no, hold on a second, Doc, I'll handle this. [to Julia] You mentioned something about not suing us. Would you put that in writing? Julia: If it gets us out of here. Kenny: Sure, that should satisfy Legal. [Everybody exits, happily murmuring.] Van: Okay, wait, wait. This course isn't about Legal! Okay, it's about making respecting each other's personhood fun. Roz: Up yours! Van: Who said that? Roz: I did! [Van follows everyone else out of the room, leaving Frasier and Julia alone.] Frasier: You know, you can act as tough as you want, but I see through you. Julia: Really? Frasier: You're not in the big leagues anymore. Blame it on the market. Blame it on bad luck. But somewhere in the back of your head is that nagging voice that keeps saying maybe you weren't good enough. [Julia's look expresses that Frasier's words are true.] Frasier: And now that you're here, you won't form relationships, you keep everybody at arm's length, anything to convince yourself that this is just a stop along the way. And above it all, I think you're terrified that you're going to fail here too. Then what do I know? I'm just a Magic Eight Ball with a Harvard... and Oxford degree. [Julia is clearly sobered by his obviously accurate assessment. Fade out.] [Scene 8 - KACL studio. Frasier is finishing his show.] Frasier: It's forty-five past the hour, which means it's time once again for the woman who... [Julia clears her throat] ...is known as Julia Wilcox. Julia: Thank you, Frasier. Another up day for the markets, but first these words from Patriot Credit Consolidators. [Roz enters with copy for Julia.] Julia: How many times do I have to tell you, you need to get a comfortable chair in here? My leg keeps falling asleep while I'm on the air. Roz: Who doesn't? [She heads back to her booth.] Julia: [making peace] Frasier... perhaps if you're at Nervosa later, I could join you for a cup of coffee or a non-stimulating beverage? [nervously] Please note that you retain the option to say no. Frasier: I appreciate that, and in time I believe that we will be able to establish a collegial relationship. However, I think we should both acknowledge the feelings of hostility that remain between us... Julia: [her old self] Oh, just say no. Honestly, do you ever shut up? Frasier: Now, see here, I... [Julia begins her report again, but smiles and waves at Frasier as she does so, who smiles back as he exits. There is an understanding between them, and everything will be all right.] Julia: The rich got richer today on Wall Street. Not news ordinarily, but after their recent slide, today's rally in large cap does take on a certain "man bites dog" quality. Speaking of dogs... [Fade out.] END OF ACT II Credits Roz brings two cups of coffee to Julia. She takes one and heads to her booth. She pauses to pick up the phone, and sets the cup down again. Julia switches the cups while she is not looking. Roz turns and nearly catches her. Kenny looks into the studio, and Julia turns away, whereupon Roz again switches the cups. Julia looks back suspiciously at Roz, and suggests that they again switch cups, which they do. Neither of them now knows which up is which, so Roz takes them both and dumps them out.

Guest Appearances

Special Guest Stars
FELICITY HUFFMAN as Julia Wilcox
DAN BUTLER as Bulldog

Guest Starring
EDWARD HIBBERT as Gil Chesterton
PATRICK KERR as Noel Shempsky
MIKE JUDGE as Van
PAUL F. TOMPKINS as Patient (Steve)

Co-Starring
KENDALL CLEMENT as Plumber

and
TOM McGOWAN as Kenny

Legal Stuff

 This episode capsule is copyright 2003 by Kelly Dean Hansen. This episode 
 summary remains property of Frasier, Copyright of Paramount
 Productions and NBC. Printed without permission. 
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